My husband and Covid

My husband died aged 64 last April of Covid after been on a ventilator for nearly 3 weeks , my doctors were treating him over the phone with antibiotics for a chest infection, after the second lot of tablets did not work I phoned 111 and they told me to take him to another surgery which I did they took his oxygen levels and sent for an ambulance straight away . I did not see him again until the day he died when I was with him as they turned the ventilator off, I’m absolutely distraught and cannot believe how he was took from me and his family , a hard working man who lived for his family and was due to retire, heartbroken and feel I want to be with him , I feel so isolated especially with lock down again, how do we carry on

Dear robbo
I’m so sorry about the loss of your husband
My husband also died in April from covid during the first lock down He was like myself in his sixties. I had to leave him to die on his own in a hospital room I never got to say goodbye to him Then to be isolated for months was horrendous My son and his family are my bubble but live 200 miles away so it was and still is very lonely Everything you say I can emphasise with
The months pass by they seem to have gone over in a blur of sadness and pai n and all these restrictions make it so much harder Nothing can change our situation we just have to take one day at a time and get through as best we can
Thinking of you take care
Christine x

My brother aged 54 died from covid today. He caught the virus after helping a friend who didn’t tell him he felt ill. The friend was later diagnosed with Covid but had mild symptoms. My brother went to hospital on boxing day. He sent my mum and I messages saying he loved us as if he knew he wasn’t going to make it. Last Friday 1st Jan he was put on a ventilator. He got worse and worse, blood clot on lung, sepsis, kidney failure, nothing was working. I rang today and the doctor said that he was improving BUT he became unstable and had a massive bleed on the brain (side effects of blood thinners). This afternoon i was told he had suffered horrendous brain damage and was brain dead. My mum and I are beside ourselves. They took him off ventilator and he died . I am lost, I am beyond devastated, I don’t know if I can ever get over this.

Dear Joanne 50
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your brother to covid It’s a horrendous virus claiming the lives of so many of our loved ones
I can relate to the shock and pain which you’ and your mum are feeling and I hope you can give some support to each other right now and in the days ahead
Thinking of you both at this sad time
Take care
Christine xx

Thank you Christine. At this moment in time I’m really worried I’m not going to be able to get over this. This is just such a shock, I am feeling so much hurt and pain. I am trying to stay strong for the rest of the family but I don’t feel strong, I just want to go back to how things were. Nothing will ever be the same again and I’m having trouble handling that.

Your right Joanne nothing will be the same again How can it be when we can’t turn the clock back however much we wish we could
There’s so many emotions you go through
I remember shock and pain and numbness Then the overwhelming sadness and loneliness there’s anger ,feelings of guilt and resentment yearning to see him again it’s absolutely exhausting every day
We have to go on in this different life but it’s very hard Just be kind to yourself and let your feelings out you can’t be strong all the time after all it’s only natural to have feelings for someone you love I take each day one day at a time that’s the only way I can get through it
Hoping you find some comfort from reading the posts on here Nothing can change your situation but knowing others can relate to how you feel may help in a small way
Thinking of you
Christine x

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Thank you Christine for your words. I lost my dad to cancer many years ago but the grief I am feeling this time is totally off the scale. I think the lockdown situation isn’t helping, covid always on the news, my husband and boys have to work which is making me a nervous wreck and paranoid. I am in a bubble with my mum but as my family are working I am stressed that I could carry Covid without knowing. I just can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel at the moment.

Yes this virus is adding to the situation it’s on my mind aswell all the time It’s hard enough to have to lose a loved one but all this on top of it makes it unbearable There’s nothing we can do about the virus situation but hopefully things will start to gradually improve then things must look a little better with that worry taken away
It is a very difficult time at the moment and you can only keep going as best you can
My thoughts are with you
Christine x

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