My husband took his life in December. I dont know how i feel. Some days i am sad and tearful and some days just numb. I am returning to work on Monday as i hope it will give me some routine in my life.
Every day i wake up and think " i can’t believe this has happened to me"
I just dont know how i should be feeling as i just feel numb and lost
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@Amanda1965 . I am sorry for your loss . You must still be in shock at losing him . Do what’s best for you . I’d work helps then do it . Take care of yourself and please post any time you need support on this site
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Dear Amanda 1965
I do feel for you . The holiday season must have been particularly difficult. I hope the work routine proves a help for you but it will definitely take time. You will go through different stages and even go backwards before you go forwards. It is early days yet. Let us know how it goes .
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Hi @Amanda1965
So sorry for you. It must be a shock and very early days.
There is no easy way to get through this new life after our losses 
Just take a small step at a time some dsys will be worse than others but please look after yourself and do what you want to do scream cry talk to people take help or ask for help from family and friends.
Losing someone special is hard unless it has happened to you you dont know the pain and heartache loneliness it brings.
Keep posting lots of people are going through the same situation.
Take care
Lynne xx
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Thank you for your kind words. Its been so hard but i have lots of support from my family and friends which hascreally helped. Xxx
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It must be very hard for you Im so sorry mine died suddenly in May and it was such a shock at first I was just numb then the rollercoaster began up and down and never knowing how I would feel from one minute to the next.Take it one day at a time and I hope your work makes you feel more settled.
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I cant believe that i am a widow at the age of 58 i thought we would grow old together 
Hi @LyndaK
Sorry regarding your loss.
It is easier if you have support from family snd friends.
I do have family here who have been no support i have only seen them twice in the 8 months my husband passed and i had to travel 3 hrs on train as i dont drive to visit them. They have been unsympathetic and although they have texted a few times if i say im not coping othey just say sorryvto here but you should be over it by now. 8 months on i dont think i will ever be over the shock of him passing so suddenly unexpectedly at 63. We spent 37 years together nearly half my life cant just forget that.
Thankfully have another daughter in Australia who phones weekly to catch up and i have friends who dont live nearby but phone every week. Without these calls i would be on my own only talking to neighbours or people i meet when out at shops.
I understand people are busy with their own lives and i dont expect them to be looking after me 24/7 but a call or chat once in a while.
Im sure i am not alone in this situation as some people here really have no one to talk to.
Life goes on and before we know its gone enjoy every minute we dont know how much time we all have left.
Take care
Lynne x
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Im sorry youre family are not supporitve of you. I imagine you must be feeling very isolated. Are there any bereavement groups you could go to that are loca?
My dad died a year ago and my mum joined a knitting group and made some new friends. Would this be something you could do?
At this time in your life, maybe you need to be reaching out to make new friends?
Hi @Amanda1965
Thanks i have joined book club and choir and hoping to join over 65 walking group soon
Also will be doing volunteering in Feb so that will get me out. I’ve been busy recently sorting my mums house but after that in Feb can start to do more.
Book club monthly choir and walking group and volunteering weekly.
Take care
Lynne Xx
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Hi Galaxy,I have no immediate family,we were together for 38 years and I’m lost without him.My closest relatives are second cousins and they do help me and one rings me every day but we have always been close.If I were you I would be visiting my daughter in Australia we have been there many times on holiday I love it ,travelling there and gardening were our passion.But whoever I see it doesn’t take the sadness away I will miss Peter like hell forever.
Hi @LyndaK
Yes planning holiday to Australia this year
Just getting my mum settled in her care home and setting house to fund care.
Once everything is organised i plan to go for couple of months.
Hope you have had a good day today
Lynne x
@Amanda1965
My darling wife of nearly 40 years also took her own life. Elaine had suffered a short medical illness which seriously affected her state of mind. The shock of finding her will never leave me. It’s nearly 18 months now and I’m feeling really down tonight.
SOBS support group and the Suicide and Co helpline have been a wonderful comfort.
Give ourselves some credit, we’re both still here.
Ian
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