My husband

My husband passed away in September after being in hospital since 1 July, he had a heart bypass but when he came home but wasn’t the same person, he had a massive stroke and was put on a ventilator but sadly passed away.

I am finding it very hard to stop crying at silly little things. I can still see him sitting in his chair but he isn’t. Silly things can make me cry and I feel so lonely at the moment, although my family have all been there for me. I really don’t know how to cope with being so alone. Is there ways in which to move a little bit forward. He was my rock and such a character, always making people laugh. My family are always there for me but it isn’t the same without his funny stories. Hopefully I will come to terms with it a little bit but no-one knows what pain it is until it happens to them.

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This is very early days for you. I am 4 months in and still find it hard to believe. All I can say is go with the flow. Sleep when you can as I was like you and couldn’t sleep. I now sleep in 4 hour chunks through the night. Cry and scream when you need to, speak to your GP if you haven’t already. I couldn’t take sleeping pills and didn’t get in with anti depressants but they do seem to help a lot of people. It does get better. So far not good but definitely better. Keep strong. Love and hugs. Sandra

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I am so sorry for your loss. My husband died suddenly on Valentine’s Day. I gave him my card and presents and three hours later he was gone. He was 65 years old. I thought he had a heart attack because he went so quickly. Our house was full of ambulance staff, and police, and then the funeral director came and picked him up. The second shock was the call from the coroner as she told me that Philmore died of undiagnosed Kidney Cancer which already spread to other organs. He had never had any symptoms or any treatment for cancer. Since then (this Saturday it will be eight months) I have existed in an everlasting nightmare. I am on my own with no family and the support from friends and former colleagues dwindled very fast. I can see him everywhere and I still can feel that he is around and trying to help me and give me advice (no, I am not crazy). His urn is upstairs in our bedroom and I hug and kiss him every time when I am upstairs. I take one step after another, one day and night after another. There are days I feel a bit more optimistic and then days and nights I cannot stop crying. It is a rollercoaster life and it is very helpful that you have a loving family around you although it will never be the same again without our loving partners. I am so glad that I found this site because the conversation with other people who share the same problems, fears, pain, and sadness helps me to carry on. You are not alone here. Sending love and hugs.

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So true, so true, my beautiful wifes ashes are in my bedroom, I kiss them several times a day when I pass. I feel her all around me wherever I go.
Our love for our loved ones continues beyound passing I am totally convinced.

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I miss the closeness of my husband he was so affectionate x I loved the times we were out holding hands x oh I miss him so much.

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Iv just joined this community. My husband turned 40 in July this year. Was for healthy running half marathons regularly. We have 3 children and would have been together 20 years this October. He went into hospital with some stomach pains to he told the next day he had stage 4 bowel, liver and lung cancer, he sadly lost his battle 6 weeks later leaving me and our children just completely lost and broken. I don’t know how we can ever get through this and go on with life without him. I miss him more and more each day and the pain is unbearable. I’m so sorry for your loss xx

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@Scarl34 so sorry for your loss. This site is a real support. I lost my husband in June and this site is a really great help in getting your feelings out. Take care and look after yourself although I know that is so hard. X

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So sorry for your loss! I am trying, I just have to try for my youngest daughter as she is depending solely on me now. X

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@Scarl34 It must be so hard for you having young children. My son is in his 40s and was very close to his dad and is taking it very badly. He has 10 year old twin daughters who were very very close to their granddad and they are also struggling. It’s so hard watching others grieve and struggling yourself. I’m sure you will do your best for your children but don’t forget to look after yourself too. I wish you well. Sending virtual hugs. Xx

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