My husband

My husband passed away 27th March 2019 af the age if 54. He went to work as a manual worker. I spoke to him at lunch discussing going away. By 3 oclock i got a call to say he had callapsed and a stranger was doing cpr. The colleague on the phone kept me upto date all the time by then the paramedics had turned up and tried everything to save him. After the coroners report had come back it said it was a heart attack. The coroners office said it is called the silent killer as there is no symptons. He was a healthy man that played golf and was active doing weights. I know its early days but we had been together for 30 years and have a 19 year old daughter. I am sitting here now and the house feels empty even my daughter is only in her room. I keep asking myself why him how can a healthy man just passed away like that. I am angry for taking things for granted and what if keeps enteri g my head…

So sorry for your loss, it is still very very raw for you, it will be 11 months on Friday since my husband passed away very suddenly, I’d like to tell you it gets better but I can’t. Some people I know who have lost their husbands in the past tell me it fought get better we just learn to live with it. I still cry every single day, some days several times a day, some days constantly.

There’s an emptiness around, and as you say you feel alone, I can understand totally.

This forum has lots of people who are very supportive and are at different stages of grief, but we all understand what each other is going through.

Please know you aren’t alone on here, and there’s always someone to talk to, we all have sleepless nights so even in the small.hours you’ll often find there’s someone online.

We all have asked and still ask the same question… why my husband? It’s so unfair!

Blessings, and night God bless

Hello Lynnie, First can I say what a simply horrendous thing for you to have to go through, how helpless you must have felt, so near yet so far.
How I can relate to your frustration at losing a healthy man so quickly, as I lost my husband last November. although it wasn’t sudden, we knew it was coming but it makes his loss no easier. We led a healthy lifestyle, growing our own organic fruit and veg, exercised, every holiday was walking/cycling/rock climbing. He was never overweight, went to the gym with me (although never that keen) never smoked and drank little alcohol and such a nice, kind person, who was always helping others and so many tributes to the generosity of his time for others. Hobbies and interests and so much to still do, although older than your husband. So like you I am asking why. On paper he should have lived for many more years. I see people around this area who are overweight slobs to put it mildly, and people who have been in poor health for years and keep going, how do they manage it and wonder why they are still walking the streets and my healthy walker/cycling husband is dead. Not very nice I know but nevertheless it plays on my mind all the time. My father died suddenly like your husband when in his forties. Again a fit man. Footballer/cricketer/golfer, never smoked or touched alcohol in his life. Never overweight, again such a nice man, so WHY. I still can’t understand his death years later and now my husband. So what’s going on in this world. I am further on down the line of grief than you but still feel anger, frustration, guilt it’s all there stored in the head. Time I hope will take it all away and I can remember my beloved Brian with happy memories and not the hurt that will destroy me in time if not dissolved.
Take care Pat xxx

My husband was healthy before the cancer. We grew our own fresh veg and he exercised hardly drank alcohol and didn’t smoke. So I am angry and say WHY!! I only lost my husband last week so I feel really raw. I looked after him so just over a week ago I was an wife and carer, now I feel I am nothing. When I see the sunshine I keep thinking we would be having a walk in the country. We loved holidays, walking going out for meals. All I feel is a scary future alone. I have never paid a bill guess I will have to learn quickly and to live on a much smaller income. We knew he was dying but it still happened so quickly. The last week and his dying moments are etched in my mind.

I took everything for granted guess it is a good job we do not know what fate waits for us around the corner. Cancer took two people I love away from me my Mum 11 years ago and now my lovely husband. He was so brave.


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