My John

My John passed away in April of this year. We have 2 boys who are 14 year old and 8 years old. Christmas was ok, I made sure the boys got all they wanted and they have half brothers and a sister who came and spoilt them. We met up with my parents for dinner and my mum complained throughout the meal. She then called to say she was going to bed early coz she was depressed. She’s depressed! I can hardly cope. The boys are wild without their dads discipline. The house is a constant mess and things keep breaking. The electricity bill is through the roof. The freezer is leaking. The laptop has broken. The garden is a mess and I have to deal with this all my own. I wish John was back here to help me. I feel I can’t cope anymore. I have to work next week but who’s going to look after the boys? The worst thing is that John always fell out with me over Christmas. I tried my best I bought presents for all his kids and tried to make it nice but it was never good enough. He was always there for me when I got upset though and now he’s not here anymore.

Oh my goodness Sally. They say troubles rarely come alone and you sure have proved that. This year has been bad for me and I will be glad when it’s over. My wife died in November and you can imagine what I feel like. We had been married 60 years. But I console myself with the thought that she would not want me to be miserable. It’s damned hard going that’s for sure. It may feel you can’t cope but you will. We all have to because there are others around us who also grieve and we must help each other. This site shows the amount of suffering there is, and I must confess until I came on here I just didn’t realise what grief meant. I feel so much more in touch with people who have lost a loved one and I have so much more empathy than before, so something good has come out of it. Take it easy Sally. You will be fine but it takes time, and that is the most difficult part of this miserable business. Time seems to pass so slowly and almost every moment is filled with some emotion. Take care and I hope to see you again on site.

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Oh dear Sally! On top of your grief you really have a lot on your plate. No wonder you are at the end of your tether.
Grief on its own is exhausting. The practicalities that have to be dealt with continue. There is no let up is there?
I wish you some support and peace of mind. X

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