My love

I lost my partner who was my soulmate and the love of my life 17 days ago I’m struggling I miss her so much I’m aching to hold her I feel so empty and lost we were together almost 21 years

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You have come to the right place as everyone here understands your pain. We try to help each other as best we can, we are all struggling to find our way on this terrifying journey.
Take a minute at a time and do whatever feels right for you. This is the place I can say what I want to say and will be understood and never judged. I’m glad you have found us.
Love and hugs Jacky :hugs:

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Thankyou jacky my friends tell me not to let it consume me but how can I not we every day together home feels empty without her I have suffered loss before but never a partner until now and I have never felt pain like this she was my world

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It is devastating, I could never have imagined feeling pain like this. Our whole world has been ripped apart and our future taken away from us.
Please do whatever you need to do, it is very early days. If you want to scream, shout, cry, then do it.
If I’ve learned anything it is that there is no ‘normal’ it’s doing what is right for you.
I’ve had days when I’ve struggled to get out of bed, nights when I didn’t want to go to bed and endless tears. Dont be afraid to cry, I was at.the beginning, I thought I would never stop!
Jacky xxx

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I’m sorry you are going through this to and I am sorry for your loss I would not wish this pain on anyone I totaly get what you are saying I have felt like that not wanting to go to bed or get up every day but I have a dog and two cats to take care of they help occupy me I have cried more in the past few weeks than I have cried in years I have barely spoken to anyone I don’t think people know what to say because all I talk about is her my every thought is of her she gave me the best years of my life she was so kind and gentle and loving I’m still organising the funeral thats going to be a tough day but its nice to be able to talk to someone who understands and can relate to what I’m going through so thankyou so much for talking to me tonight

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You will find many others that will talk to you in the coming days and weeks. They have been here for me. We don’t have to explain ourselves because we are all suffering.
Sending you strength, love and hugs :hugs: Jacky

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Thankyou so much

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Friends who say don’t let it consume you do not have a clue. It will consume you and that is ok. You need to talk about it when you want to (and if they won’t listen then try on here or a counsellor) and not talk about it when you don’t want to. This is your grief and any friend who is a true friend will listen and let you be not try to rush you through it. Sending hugs

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Hello Casey1.

Thank you for sharing how you are feeling on the forum. I can see our lovely members are responding to you, they will be an invaluable source of comfort to you, as they know exactly how you are feeling and what you are going through.

Please know we are here for you, Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.

You may also want to try Cruse Bereavement. They offer a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677, helpline@cruse.org.uk, http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services.

Take care,
Audrey,
Online Community Team

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Thankyou jules4 they are friends that I have on Facebook I have never met them unfortunately I have no friends in real life that I can meet up with or talk to my darling Pauline was my best friend as well as my soul mate and my only friend so I really am all alone now and my heart is broken I don’t know how to do life without her and in all honesty I don’t want to but we have 3 pets that need me and she would want me to carry on so I’m trying to for her and my babies

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Thankyou Audrey cruse told me I could call them whenever I need to and to call back after the funeral to arrange counselling they said I will need it more then which is a few weeks away I am finding help here its nice to talk to people that understand and know what I’m feeling

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@Casey1 so sorry you have had to join us, but glad you did. I am nearly at 6 months now since my wonderful partner died suddenly. I don’t know how I have got through it, but I have. I feel dreadful when I wake every morning, but force myself up to deal with another day. The overwhelming grief is still there and I miss him constantly. I and many others on here do not think ahead, we just try to cope with one day at a time. The future is too terrifying. Please keep coming on here as you will latch on to posts and realise that the way you are feeling is normal when grieving, and others feel a lot of the same feelings. I look out for posts from people at the same time stage as me, and also those further ahead. I find the ones in similar time scales help me feel less mad. We are all so traumatised, and It makes me sad to see new members of our strange little band of warriors, but then I feel glad they have found this group. Within a short period of coming on here I read about a man who said he walked and walked and walked. I started doing that to, and it helped. Unfortunately due to an injury I have had to stop that for the past few weeks. Thank God for gardening. That is my current keep busy thing. Early doors, and particularly before the funeral, I did nothing. Just lay on the settee in a pool of misery. As time goes on I still do that at times, but then get up and do a few jobs. I am back at work now and, although that was daunting at first, and some days still is, it has done me good to have interaction with other people. If you work make sure you feel strong enough to cope before you go back as people in the workplace give no consideration to the fact you are not firing on all cylinders. Best wishes to you. You are not totally alone, you have us strange lot.

Thankyou Wong no I’m not working so I’m at home I have very little contact with anyone I am so sorry for your loss it does help to read other people’s post and to know I’m not alone there are others who feel the same at least on here we can all help eachother

I am glad you are at home Casey1 and can grieve in your own time. Try and get outside for a while every day if you can bear it, and please remember to eat. I kept forgetting . I tend to set an alarm on my phone now for important things. Take care, and post whenever you need to. Sometimes just writing things down helps a little especially in these times of very little people interaction.

Wong I will do I’m out so many times a day with my dog cara I eat to keep going for our pets our cara is 12 our cats are 3 or 4 please take care of your self and talk on here as much as you need to

Welcome x I only joined today x was to scared because everytime I say , spell , hear my beautiful mans name I get in such a mess x I tell him every night I made it through another day but I cant go to bed because I dont want another day without him xx I’m here anytime you need a chat x

Tracy5 thankyou I’m so sorry for your loss I talk to pauline all through the day and night when I go to bed I can’t sleep I keep on looking at the empty spot where she should be and when I do wake up I don’t want to get up and start another day without her I have to carry on though for our dog and cats I have her funeral tomorrow I can’t sleep tonight all I’m thinking about is tomorrow so I’m gonna stay awake

@Casey1 I hope the funeral goes well tomorrow and you manage to give Pauline a good send off. I remember lying awake most of the night before my partner’s funeral as I was dreading it. The funeral was a bit of a blur for me, but went as well as it could have done. Everything was a bit odd with restricted numbers, social distancing, masks and no wake. I think the best way to deal with funerals is as a celebration of your loved one’s life. It is really hard for us that are left behind though. Sending you strength. X

Wong thankyou I hope it all goes well i just want to do her proud there’s a lot of people going to be there that I don’t know people that have not been in her life for over 20 years I’m just scared that I’m gonna fall apart I know I’m going to cry that I can’t stop been doing that ever since I lost her

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You,ll be strong , you,ll find strength, I was dreading the cars pulling up outside , I had to be held up by my 2 sons one is only 13 and devastated x but we had to make dave proud and we did x I still wont expect it and feel like I’m watching a movie x you are there to celebrate a beautiful life , a soulmate, a lover and best friend x everyone tells me remember you have all those memories BUT you know you had so many more to make x zdave wont hold his first grandchild or hold my hand ever again and the pain is killing me x forever is such along time x I,ll be thinking of you tomorrow x be strong x

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