My mam

My mam

I lost my mam on 18/12/17 . She died at our home we’re she wanted to be , with help from the end of life team. The night she died I rang me older sister and brothers to come and I cannot believe how strong I was . But I am totally worried now as I have not shed a tear witch is not like me, I am so weepy usually , I feel guilty for not crying and worried there is something wrong with me , is this normal? X

Hi Wendyb and welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community.

I’m really sorry to hear of the loss of your mam, and that you are experiencing feelings of guilt. I don’t think there is a ‘normal’ when it comes to grief, everyone deals with things differently but you should try to be kind to yourself and remember that grieving takes time.

I see you’ve been in touch with Marigold on another thread and it’s good that you’ve found your way around the site to contact others with similar experiences.

Hopefully others will reply to you here too and I hope you find some comfort and support on our site.

take care

Thanks Nancy . I still have not been no we’re near emotional as I thought I would be , last night we spent time sorting the funeral witch will take place on Friday 5 th January. We were laughing as we talked about my mams life and her antics. But inside it’s killing me but still no tears , I lived with my mam for the last 6 months , they were lovely with lots of memories, but now as I move on to change the home as I want it (would never change my mams living room and bedroom while she was here) I forget my heartache for a short time than feel guilty that I have put my mam to the back of my mind … I am not sure how I will be on that day but I promised mam in the last days of her life I would be strong and believe you me I don’t know we’re that strength as come from … xx

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