My melancholy paragraph

I’m not the same since my dad died.
I can’t stay calm enough, its effecting my health. I’ve always had anxiety, but now my jaw clamps shut about a 100 times a day. I have good days and bad days of course, lately its been really hard.
He died in October 2021 and I went to bereavement counselling afterwards, which helped for a time until i uncovered alot of unpleasent things about him and its made me grieve all over again.
I also felt like I lost a lot of friends when I began to grieve, I was angry, I was sad, they didnt know what to say, so they didnt say anything atall.
I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful partner that held all my broken pieces together at the beginning when I needed it the most, but sometimes I just feel this unbearable loneliness.

Nobody knows how horrible it was for me, watching my dad rot away from the diabetes and his poor mental health.
My dad used to care desperately about how I was, ask me all the time, but now my walls are so high that nobody (apart from partner) ever asks me how i am.

Hello @Lostpup ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling highly anxious and finding life really hard. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Alex