my mum died on 21st dec and im struggling to cope she had cancer but she wasnt expected to die so soon it was made worse as she died on the same day as i lost my husband 8 years before i was caring for mum until the end of sept when i wasnt able to do it anymore as i had to look after my 2 granddaughters aged 8years and 20 months i couldnt let them go into care so i was in an impossible situation i am so angry with my daughter as i lost out on all that time with mum i wasnt able to see her until 19th dec as i had no child care for the girls i spoke to her everyday on the phone 4 times a day i still go to ring her then remember shes gone she didnt want a funeral so theres no closure i havent been able to grieve as i dont have anytime we were all ill over xmas im so angry and im afraid when it does finally sink in shes gone how bad i will be i had a breakdown after losing my husband and still wasnt in a good place after 8 years i feel guilty that i wasnt able to be with mum but the girls needed me its not there fault but i do feel resentment towards them some days and i dnt no what to do with these feelings
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum, @helen67. It sounds like you have been coping with such a lot; as you say, you were in an impossible situation and it sounds like you did the very best that you could.
Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand the anger and fear that you’re going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
Wow don’t feel bad ….. your mum I know will be so proud of you looking after your grandchildren and her legacy ….. your mum would have wanted you to do what you did …she is proud…. Plus if she did want to be with you more she understood as you didn’t just ignore her you where constantly ringing her …. Stop feeling bad you are a good person…daughter mother and grandmother ….. your mum is saying come on daughter you can live enjoy your time with my legacy … teach them your and her love …. that isn’t anything to feel bad about. Plus it’s ok to be sad yiu loved her ….I miss my mum so much she died end of November and I know she loved us and wanted us to be with are children and understood life goes on and we must try to be happy again although I am still working on that myself . As the pain is so horrible and just stays …thinking of you