My eyes are like taps I just can not turn them off. My older brother was my mum’s constant carer for 20 years. I’m worried for him. The thing is the day she died the consultant seen my mum. I have a lot of questions to ask the ward my mum was on.
Hello
I am so very sorry you lost your mum yesterday. Try to take today an hour at a time. I lost my mum last year. I hope you and your brother are able to support each other. You must both be in shock. Take care of yourselves xx
Hi.
I’m so sorry to ready your news. Losing your mum yesterday must be so hard for you. I lost my mum in May and JayDee is right to recommend taking things one hour at a time.
Reach out for help and don’t expect too much of yourself. This forum is full of amazing people who understand and will be here for you. It certainly helps me.
Sending a hug
Ann xx
thank you much. if I am like this now I am dreading the funeral.
thank you so much. the funeral will be very upsetting for us.
So sorry for your loss. I’m going through it at the moment. There are no words to help I know that. Just be kind to yourself x
Thank you. Sorry for your loss.
apparently we have to take it one day at a time. There’s no date for the funeral yet. Have you got a date set for yours?
So so sorry and I truly understand. My mum’s funeral in Friday 4th January 2019 and at present I am so numb. I understand you wanting to ask questions and do so, write down your questions at the time they come into your head, revisit the questions. You will be very busy now and with the ache/pain you feel sometimes some questions fade. I wish strength at this time. Again my condolence.
I lost my mum on 28/12. We had a wonderful Xmas, literally the best in years and then bang this happened. Total shock.
Life feels empty, its like someone took a piece of heart and stamped it out. I keep looking at happy people on facebook and hating them for it, Ive forced myself to go outside everyday since and I look at other women shopping with their mums and choke up…
She lived abroad but we (my mum, dad not so much, but all the siblings were close, FaceTime, calls, facebook, what apps etc) she was here for a full year in 2016…
She was always hounding me to make more time for her and call more, because i have a busy job, 2 kids, life crap to do - I feel awful. Why didn’t I just call her??
My mums funeral is abroad, its cost me and brother thousands to get us all there (Im not bothered about the cost/money) but the journey out is 35 hours as there are no direct flights…
People have been calling, texting, visiting and I just wanna tell them all to f**k off! How do you cope with this grief?
Sorry for your loss. My mum died on Christmas eve. It’s heart stopping. But we need to carry on for our children and they will help you through this.
Although time as stopped for us, life carries on regardless of our emotions and our grief. You just want to should at every one, hey I’ve lost my mum stop getting on with your lives!! But our grief is ours alone.
We have not got a date for my mum’s funeral yet and I think that will hurt the most as its so final. Your mum will be remembered by you and will always be in your heart. Hold on to the memories of your mum. I am going to need diazepam on the day of the funeral as I know I will not cope.
Take care and stay strong for your children.
That is all you can do at the moment.
Take each day as it comes.
So sorry to here of your loss i lost my mum 11 months ago in hospital and i demanded an investigation …Every hospital has a patient complaints procedure take your concerns to them they have to follow up every complaint and will investigate fully take care xx
Hi there
My mum had C.O.P.D. the nurses never gave my mum her inhalers. She went in after a stroke. And was neglected in the hospital. Mum was angry but the stroke caused that. But the nurses stayed away as much as possible. They transferred my mum with a chest infection to a rehabilitation hospital and they had to send my back to the other hospital again where she died. We never had any warning so we could of been by her side. I asked for a post mortem but it was refused as the coroner agreed with the doctor that it was a bleed in the brain. But we will never know now. Sorry for your loss.
Hi im so sorry for your loss …These hospitals are getting away with neglect on a mass scale and its beyond anything i could imagine . My mum also had copd but it was managed with steroids and antibiotics. They too also sent my mum during her final 2 week stay to another hospital rehab unit and in the Root Cause Analysis report they admitted many faults one being no one knows or has admitted who authorised the move at either hospital as there was no documentation . The Rehab unit admitted that when a patient is transferred from a hospital to a rehab unit the rehab nurse has to assess and accept the patient before there moved …at the inquest the doctor at rehab unit wrote a statement saying no one knew why mum had been sent there or what for ?? I worked as a Clinical Support Worker on wards in the hospital where mum was killed in 2016 and was mortified by the level of non care and neglect i witnessed whilst working there i lasted 4 months and walked out and rang Care Quality Commision to report what id witnessed and asked them to do an unannounced inspection on the wards i had worked on … When mum was left all night with a burst bowel and sepsis from 7.25pm till 9am next morning the theatre team were horrified the state she was in they couldnt prep her for surgery as it was too far gone they were horrified when they knew she’d been in the hospital on a ward all night and the critical care doctor wrote an official report against the hospital which Iwas informed of the next day when I went back there for a meeting with the risk analyst and PALS then I demanded an autopsy . When they rung me the next day they said they had seen diverticular disease all over her bowel and that the scans she had would of shown that . He told me they could of removed part of her bowel and put a stoma bag on .I ransacked mums house gathered every discharge letter from each time she had been in and not once did it mention diverticular disease each stated cause of symptoms unknown . Once the final report was written by hospital and given to coroner the hospital then asked for the pathologists findings so when it went to inquest they were talking about this diverticular disease trying to make out they had diagnosed her with it . But I have all documents stating otherwise so I have been to a solicitor and started a case for Medical Negligence .I got to see her 2 mins before she passed and I made her a promise I would get her the justice she deserved. I can’t cope with knowing this could of been prevented and wont rest until I get her the justice I promised her xxxx
Hi im so sorry for your loss …These hospitals are getting away with neglect on a mass scale and its beyond anything i could imagine . My mum also had copd but it was managed with steroids and antibiotics. They too also sent my mum during her final 2 week stay to another hospital rehab unit and in the Root Cause Analysis report they admitted many faults one being no one knows or has admitted who authorised the move at either hospital as there was no documentation . The Rehab unit admitted that when a patient is transferred from a hospital to a rehab unit the rehab nurse has to assess and accept the patient before there moved …at the inquest the doctor at rehab unit wrote a statement saying no one knew why mum had been sent there or what for ?? I worked as a Clinical Support Worker on wards in the hospital where mum was killed in 2016 and was mortified by the level of non care and neglect i witnessed whilst working there i lasted 4 months and walked out and rang Care Quality Commision to report what id witnessed and asked them to do an unannounced inspection on the wards i had worked on … When mum was left all night with a burst bowel and sepsis from 7.25pm till 9am next morning the theatre team were horrified the state she was in they couldnt prep her for surgery as it was too far gone they were horrified when they knew she’d been in the hospital on a ward all night and the critical care doctor wrote an official report against the hospital which Iwas informed of the next day when I went back there for a meeting with the risk analyst and PALS then I demanded an autopsy . When they rung me the next day they said they had seen diverticular disease all over her bowel and that the scans she had would of shown that . He told me they could of removed part of her bowel and put a stoma bag on .I ransacked mums house gathered every discharge letter from each time she had been in and not once did it mention diverticular disease each stated cause of symptoms unknown . Once the final report was written by hospital and given to coroner the hospital then asked for the pathologists findings so when it went to inquest they were talking about this diverticular disease trying to make out they had diagnosed her with it . But I have all documents stating otherwise so I have been to a solicitor and started a case for Medical Negligence .I got to see her 2 mins before she passed and I made her a promise I would get her the justice she deserved. I can’t cope with knowing this could of been prevented and wont rest until I get her the justice I promised her xxxx
I feel like our elderly loved ones ate just another number to the NHS more and more of of elderly people are dying in hospital. As they are a drain on the bus.
Sorry for your loss.