My mum died

My mum died of dementia, I cared for her for two years. All I feel is guilt about what I should’ve done.

Hello daft4killie,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling presently. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and how you are feeling, that is so heart breaking. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


You looked after your mum so you should not feel guilty
Life is hard right now for you
Keep coming on this site and share your emotions
Sharing does make a difference
None of us will judge you
We are all feeling the same
Take care

1 Like

I did same. guilt comes because we cannot change the past … nor do anything about it as they are gone.

it is normal part of grief. I have tons of guilt and I cared for my mom. it was not easy.

hard to erase guilt. everyone has guilt over something. just try not to make it bigger than necessary. she would not want that, I wouldn’t imagine.

take care of yourself best you can. :gift_heart:

1 Like

There are things that I said and did, because she had dementia, I feel guilty about. The truth is I was falling apart myself.

Have you tried to forgive yourself? How do you learn to live with the guilt, I can’t.


It must takes a lot too look after someone with dementia
So again to both of you please don’t feel guilty
It is such a awful disease
To see the person you love change it is a so sad

What don’t you speak to your doctor about having counselling
As they are trained not to be judgemental
Talking about your guilt might help ease your pain

If you feel you don’t want to talk to your doctor
Maybe write down your feelings in a journal text message email
It’s what is best for you to release your feeling of guilt
And maybe writing talking will enable you to get on with your life

You could talk to the Samaritans
When you have a bad day
They are there 24/7

It’s what is best for you
The loss of a loved one is bad enough
But to feel guilty is so hard

I hope you can get some help to over come your guilt
But remember your mum would of known that you loved her
Take care