I lost my mum 10 weeks ago. She was 87 and I thought I’d be ok and consoled myself with the fact that she had a “good life.” I think at first I was in shock but didn’t realise it as was looking at her fotos and her fiddle blanket and brand new dressing gown I bought her just before she passed. But now I’ve hidden it all away and got a shoebox of momentos that I just wanna smash up. I’m so angry she’s not here and how life is so unfair, yet I know it’s completely illogical. She suffered terribly for 4 months before she passed away and even told me she wanted to die 36 hours before she did. I refer to her ashes as cat litter as how can it be possible that my mum is in a paper bag? I don’t know whether I should get everything out and start mourning her loss gradually so as not to mess my head up too much. My sister is coping well as are my other siblings as they have children and grandchildren but me and my husband were never able to have kids. There’s no distraction and future to look forward to like my siblings have. I haven’t got kids to look at and think I still have a piece of my mum.
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Hello @Rach1408,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum.
Please know that there is lots of support available if you need it. We have advice and support on coping with the loss of a parent here:
As well as the online community, we offer a range of online bereavement support services that might be helpful to you. You can explore these at sueryder.org/support.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support too - keep reaching out. You are not alone.
Take good care,
Seaneen
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