My mum

Just over three weeks ago my beautiful mum lost her battle with an unknown primary Cancer. After battling for 9 months she is now at peace. I am so pleased she is at peace now as she had such a horrible time fighting right up to the last second…literally! I think this is what I’m struggling to deal with most of all at the moment. I wanted to make sure I was with my mum every step of the way and her last day was awful. She died very slowly, painfully and this is something I have never experienced before. I keep reliving mums last hours, not all the time. It just catches me unaware every so often when I least expect it. How do I get past this?

I lost my mum six weeks ago, she also had cancer. I don’t know how you get through it, I cry all the time. In a way, I feel thankful that my mum didn’t suffer, but she had brain tumours so I’ll never know whether she knew I was with her in hospital, or whether she understood me when I was talking to her. I find that hard to deal with.

I know I’m not coping that well, and I’m sorry I can’t offer you any advice.

It helps reading posts here, because I know I’m not the only one feeling this way, and that what I am feeling is completely normal. I’ve had a few melt downs this week, one in public. And I know I’ve been avoiding people, because I’m finding it difficult after the return to school with everyone asking “did you have a great summer?” But I also know that I have to deal with this in my own way, and sometimes I just have to do whatever I need to, just to make it through the day.

As hard as it is, try and remember all the good times.

Lisa xx

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