Hi my mother passed away suddenly and home 4 months ago. We lived together for 58 years, this Friday is going to be her first birthday without her. I don’t know how I’m going to cope I’m crying just writing this and thinking about it. Then I’ve got Christmas to come. We both loved Christmas it’s going to be so hard.
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Hi @Jason1967,
I’m so sorry about your mum. There will always be days when our grief is harder to cope with than others. Lots of people find important dates like birthdays especially difficult, and you’re not alone.
Our Head of Bereavement Bianca shares some tips on how to cope with important dates in this video:
We also have a support page which might be helpful. The community is here for you, and we’ll be thinking of you on Friday.
Take care,
Seaneen
Dear Jason.
My heart goes out to you with the firsts without your mum. My mum passed away last year and I struggled through them. She was my world. This year I had some of our family and friends and had a little tea party. It might sound an odd thing to do, but after all the tears, that had come and still come even day, it was nice to sit and listen to stories and memories of my mum from others, that I did not know before. Everyone enjoyed it too as there were happy memories. You might not be up to something like that yet, but please try to do something that you both would have enjoyed and talk to your mum too. Or just go for a little fresh air to be able to breathe. Grief is a long and lonely road and it doesn’t end… but believe that your mum loves you and keep safe. This has been a good place for me to come and share and I hope it will be for you too.
Take care Jason, sending you a hug for support.
Phoebe .
Ps last Christmas I had beans on toast and never saw another person. I felt safe. That’s what matters, whatever you feel like doing. Keep safe, keep warm and eat too. X
Hi Phoebe
Thanks for the reply means a lot. Some of my family have said to go spend Christmas Day with them, they will have all the grandchildren there and a lot going on I think it might be too much for me I will see how I feel Christmas morning. I will definitely go for a nice walk and some fresh air and talk to mam. A day if front of the tv also sounds like a good idea and I love beans on toast. Have a nice day yourself and take care Thanks.
Jason
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I’m glad to have helped a bit. Support is always here 
Here is your first one, sent with a hug from a friend.
Good wishes for Christmas and good health for the new year. X
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