My mums grave

I ve only visited my mums grave 3 times since she died 18 months ago. I cant seem to get to grips with her being there. My family visit it regulaly along with dad. But i always make excuses, cause i dont want to think of her there. Is that bad? Does that feeling change? Ever?

I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your mum. There is no reason that you have to visit the grave if you don’t feel that it’s right for you. People grieve in different ways, and some people find it helpful to visit, while others don’t. You will grieve for your mum wherever you are, and it sounds as though you think about her often, and that’s what is important.

You might find it helpful to have a read of this conversation: How often do most people visit the grave?. It’s an older conversation, so it hasn’t been active for a while, but you will see that there were a whole range of different answers to the question.

Take care and keep posting on the community if you find that it helps.

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Your mum lives on in your heart and mind so it doesn’t matter whether you visit the grave of not. If it doesn’t provide you with any comfort (and it doesn’t for everyone) then remembering your mum wherever you are at the time is fine. I’m sure wherever she is now that she can feel the love you have for her. I’m sorry for your loss - grief is the worst pain ever to suffer - it follows you everywhere. xx

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Thank you Carol. I have a huge close family and am so grateful for it. They all visit the grave so much more than I do, but ur right , my mum is in my heart and thoughts every single day, just as she was when she was alive. I still talk to her and always feel her with me. Thanks so much, its nice to have someone who understands that. My family expect that I be there lots morw than I do, but as u say, shes here with me anyways.