My Mum passed away over two months ago. I still feel very down although I don’t want to show it to my wife and kids. I have been busy moving my Step Dad down near me and trying to make him happy. I am now realising that I need to try and help myself and most likely need to speak to someone to help try and resolve some issues in my head. I feel guilty that she died and that she could not of lived longer, I also have flashback to when she was in hospital, especially a note she wrote to me asking if she was dying. I have also felt it harder to socialise since her passing.
So sorry for your loss, I lost my mum in October. Its still really hard, and its early days for you. I havent had any help with my loss, but I know from what other people have said, it can help to talk things out. Like you, I have so many memories, some not good ones as things were hard after my father died. My head, daily, is filled with what was said, what wasnt said and the guilt some days is so bad, but I know guilt is a very common emotion, and also that we have no control over life and death. I think maybe the non socialising is what a lot of people feel, I havent been able to do much and just don’t feel ready to either. I think you have to just take it all at your own pace. Best regards
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Hi Steve1974,
You should let your wife and kids know that you’re down, especially your wife would want to know. You can’t bear all this on your own and help everybody else except yourself. Maybe a counsellor would help, you can talk about anything to them.
My mother died in December and I feel the same, constantly thinking back to what I should have done, could have done that would have been better for her.
I don’t want to socialise either, I think that’s a normal part of grieving.
It sounds as if you did a lot for your mum and are now doing all you can for your step dad.
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Take care of yourself as well as others. J