My nana

My nana was diagnosed with lung cancer on the 06/09/17 and was cared for by me, my mum and my grandad until she passed away on the 27/09/17. Initially I thought I was coping really well, as I was so busy looking after my children, taking care of my mum, and working, but when Mum seemed to get better I seemed to crumble. I was diagnosed with health anxiety many years before and the loss of my nana seemed to have triggered this. I got to a stage where I constantly would worry I was dying, and would restrict myself from doing things or being alone to prevent me from panicking. My nana was my world I grew up witnessing horrific scenes of domestic violence and my mum didn’t really shield me from these. My nana was my one constant, the person I would go to when I felt down, who I felt gave me unconditional love. Now she has gone and I feel I have no one to turn to. I have noticed I am overly wanting to spend time with my mum, but I don’t ever receive any real emotional support from her, it’s usually the opposite and me that supports her when needed. I feel lost sometimes like I haven’t adjusted to what has happened, and that I’m kind of in a limbo.
Sorry for going on and on, it just feels so good to get out how I’m feeling

Hi Gemzi,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your beloved nana and that you’re having such a difficult time at the moment. It sounds as if you and your nana had a really close special relationship and it must be so hard for you especially as she was the one you would always turn to.

Grief can hit us at any time after the loss of a loved one & can absolutely make any anxiety we suffer from even worse.

I’m sorry that you’re not getting any emotional supoort from your Mum. Is there anyone else, perhaps a close friend you can talk to? When my Mum died I had bereavement counseliing which really helped me.

You can absolutely use this forum to tell us how you’re feeling & share anything you want to. There are lots of really understanding supportive people on the forum who will know exactly what you’re going through.

Please keep talking to us & take care. Trudy x

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