My own little Purgatory

Now I’ve started this post I can’t find the words…
I’ve done nothing but cry and feel miserable for over a week. Guy at work returned to do a desk job after his cancer op. First day I say him all the memories just came back smacking me in the face and I was back rushing to the loo sobbing. Now each time he passes my desk I fall apart.

The other thing that didn’t help was All Souls Day. Got myself into a right state reading about it so much so I ended up calling the priest last Friday crying down the phone. Poor man didn’t even know me (my priest was away). He has been really helpful and even called again yesterday to make sure I was ok. He’s also arranged for someone to give me a lift to Church on Sunday as it’s just over a half an hours walk and don’t drive - buses on a Sunday don’t start until 11.45!

I find myself praying a lot, yet a year ago I found it difficult to pray.

Dear Libby,
To begin with you do cry, a lot. Memories are so vivid and the slightest thing can start you off. I used to call it a Tsunami of grief. My advice is cry, it is a release. Your getting upset with the guy at work is reminding you of your journey. Have you talked to the man and asked him how he is doing ? It might be painful but it might help him and you too. Does he have the same cancer as your husband ? If you could tell him your story, he might be sympathetic to you and he might appreciate your listening to him and, perhaps, advice.
I am glad you have faith and support from your church. I do not have faith but I did have some support from a church bereavement group.
Kind regards, Marianne

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