Condolences to you, I understand your pain and the pain of other mum’s on here its wrong so very wrong our babies going before us. It changes everything, we are not the mum’s they knew. I know I’ll be with my boy one day I hope its not long as life is meaningless right now 
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Our daughter died in April. She’d lived in Scotland for years so though we spoke every few days, we only saw her 2 or 3 times a year. She was great at massive hugs. On her last time home in March, as usual we bickered .. and with her warm hug when she was leaving to go back she laughed and said “look mum, we haven’t argued for 2 days!”
I’d give anything to bicker with her and have massive hugs. It’s so hard. I miss her.
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These are my thoughts too !
Where is Ben now ? Was he scared ? Was it quick ? ( the coroner said it would have been but I just think they probably say that to everyone as a comfort ). And the worst thing is I wonder if he called for help…
He lived alone.
Like you I question if there’s a God and I envy people who have faith because they seem to get comfort from it.
I try to think that he’s with his grandparents and a couple of our friends who’ve gone, and his beloved dog Loki, but I just don’t know.
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It doesn’t get easier does it? It’s sixteen months since I lost my son and the past week has been a nightmare. I’ve cried on and off every day. I can’t wait for my time to be up and be together with him again. Work last week was awful I couldn’t concentrate and everything I did I did wrong then ended up crying on and off right through the afternoon. I don’t think people understand the toll it takes mentally. I’m forgetfull, the simplest task can feel massive for me, so on top of every else I now feel like an idiot. I just can’t stand it all x
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Thank you Holly❤️
Lovely words Holly xx
At almost exactly this time, exactly one year ago, the emergency services arrived at my son’s flat to find him unresponsive. They spent the next 45 minutes trying to revive him, with no success. I am haunted by the fact that my son was on his own when he died. But so grateful to the nameless people who tried so hard to bring him back. I miss you so much, Simon. A truly beautiful person, taken too soon.
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I am so so sorry for what you must be feeling. My heart goes out to you. It will be 39 weeks this Sunday since we lost Steve, I think of him every second of the day. The pain is still unbearable and think it always will be. Love to you xx
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Sending love
It was 49 weeks this week and the pain is still as raw as day 1. As mums our broken hearts will remain broken until we are reunited with our babies
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Today is 1 year plus 3 days since my beautiful daughter and best friend died.
Today I am in my way to Australia to see a friend I haven’t seen for many years. I was pregnant with Lauren and she was pregnant with twin girls.
Sat on the plane, first leg to Doha and a bit of a wave of panic hit me. Then I smelled the perfume that Lauren always wore - Angel - but couldn’t identify who was wearing it or why it suddenly wafted across.
Feeling a bit better and this is first time been away since 26/11/24. Maybe Lauren is telling me it’s okay,
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Perhaps she is x
Do the trip for her x
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I think its your daughter saying she’s with you.
Enjoy your trip xx
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I do know it’s like a stab in the heart every day! No one like a mom feels it, this Christmas will be my 3rd I’m going away again like I did the first year.
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Hi ladies, it’s 50 weeks today and it hurts as bad as day 1.
Yesterday my friend made me go xmas shopping for my son’s children, I had couple episodes in the shop but came home with gifts for little ones.
Everything everywhere brought memories to me, this time of year he would get so excited even at aged 35. I’m trying to put a face on for the children but its so hard I just want to shut the door and stay home by myself. He wouldn’t want that I know but its so damn difficult.
Every day something happens where I want to ring him. Every day there are tears at some point.
I miss him more than words can say. I’m not the same mum he left behind.
I long to hear his voice, see him smile, have a big hug. I am completely broken.
Thank you for this space where I can offload. Xx
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Hi there
So sorry for your loss. I lost my beautiful daughter Elizabeth in April this year and feel your pain.
Hope your grandchildren like their presents.
Its so hard going round the shops seeing all the happiness in people’s faces but inside we’re dying from the heartbreak.
I can’t do the Christmas shopping like I used to do with Elizabeth as its too painful so ive done online instead. (Which i dislike)
I imagine all us Angel mums want to hold our children again.
Your Son will be there with you every step over the festive season and forever more.
Sending my love to everyone on here.xx
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Nearly 14 months since I saw my beautiful boys face and heard his voice and laugh. I’m crippled with grief. I’ve had the worse few days of crying all the time. I’m picking antidepressants up tomorrow, I’ve needed them for ages but my Doctor told me in the nicest way “it’s just grief” I’ve wondered over the months if he’d think that if it were him going through it?
I went in a little break with my sister and our daughters to whitby for three days, I couldn’t stop the tears at times which has left me feeling guilty about spoiling it.
Here’s hoping the antidepressants help me as I can’t go on like this , it’s like being in a nightmare I can’t wake from.
I’ll never get over the loss of my beautiful son.
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I echo your thoughts exactly
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100% agree
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I totally agree with you we are never the same again once we become Angel mums.
I hope your medication helps you, I started medication 5wks ago and I feel calmer than I was but still have my crying episodes.
Take care xxx
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