My son died at 23

My son dued at she just 23. He overdosed on black mamba, a synthetic drug. He was adopted and had problems from the time we had him at just 2 years old.

I loved him so much and feel a failure because I couldn’t help him, we tried so very hard. I grieve each day, it just comes over me.

Dear Wishwalk.
So sorry to hear about the death of your beloved son. The death of a child, regardless of the circumstances, is probably the most difficult thing to bare. We think that we will always be able to protect our children and the realisation that we cannot is hard to cope with. I lost by beautiful 24 year old son in an accident on 4th May this year and the past. 4 and a half months have almost been unbearable but I carry on for him, because that is what he would want. I have 2 younger children who need me as they miss their brother so much, so I also keep going for them. Some days are more bearable than others, all days are sad but having counselling and going onto websites like this and sharing your story will also help. I take each day at a time, do not plan for tomorrow too much in case I do not feel like doing anything. Remember to be kind to yourself and take one day at a time.
Janet

Hi Janet, so sorry for your loss too. It is hard to keep going. I also have a younger son who us 16. He has been through lots of ups and downs over the years living with the consequences of his older two brothers actions. They were severely damaged by their early life and we just couldn’t fix them. My youngest has just got all his GCSEs and we are very proud of him. He carried his win brothers coffin in the middle of his exams! Life goes on but my tears keep coming. I try and hold on to the good times and think of something every day to help me smile.

Hello Whiswalk,
Like Jan P I lost my son Sam on December 9th 2016, he was 34. He died from a brain tumour. I suppose I could call myself lucky…if that’s the right word!! but thanks to the skill of the surgeon I had an extra 4 good years with him, he died here at home. I can only imagine what losing a son is like from an overdose of drugs, and my heart goes out to you. I am sure that he is looking down on you, and yes you did try so very hard there are a lot of people who wouldn’t even consider helping children from a troubled background and I can see that from what you have said it in your post that you must be a very caring compassionate person. We all know drugs are so hard to give up. Your other son has worked hard to pass his exams and will need all your love and compassion to keep his work ethic and maybe that is what you can hold onto to keep you going.

With love helen

Thank you Helen. Anyway we lose our children is heartbreaking, I am sorry to hear of you loss too.

It just shouldn’t happen but we know it does and we have to hold onto the good times and beautiful memories. My youngest works tirelessly and says he intends to make something of his life. He of all boys knows first hand the alternative!

Karen xx

Oh Karen

That is so lovely to hear that your youngest should feel that he wants this to make rather than break him and he intends to make something of his life. It will help you I am sure to know this and to help him anyway you can. As you say however we lose our sons, it’s not in the right order. All we can do is make sure that we continue as best we can. I have an older son who is 37, he has identical twin daughters who are three months old and a son who is three years old so I have no choice but to help him and his wife as much as I can.

with love Helen

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