My soul mate

Buried my soulmate just three weeks today ,we had been together 43 years…the emptiness is overwhelming …life feels so pointless…the current world pandemic has added overwhelmingly to the isolation and emptiness…I was lucky in many ways in that I knew we only had a few weeks left together and those precious few weeks gave me many precious memories to add to a lifetime of memories we had made …but what i wouldnt give to be able to have added so many more.

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hi, you reached out, the times we are in just add more misery and loneliness, you are not alone. I feel the same my soulmate passed 16 months ago, I miss him so much. I look back at all the memories and happy times we had together. We would have been married for 30 years this year, he was taken too soon. We had so many more memories to make. My rocks are now my 2 granddaughters who he never got to meet, it’s so hard now not seeing them due to this pandemic. Please talk to someone, don’t feel like your alone.x

Thank you Meggy, reading through messages helped …it helps to realise so many of us are suffering same or similar emotions…we would have been celebrating 40 years of marriage this year…but I’m so grateful that we renewed our vows last September …it was such a happy time…we never had grandchildren …but I’m glad that you have 2 precious rocks in your life…when this pandemic is over you can give them the biggest of hugs …thank you again for answering my post x

Dear @Bab1 and @Meggy Thank you for sharing here about the loss your your soulmates, I am Ailie a support volunteer here and I wanted to welcome you and thank you both for sharing these posts. We are here to help in anyway we can do please don’t hesitate to reach out should you need us .

Thank you Ailie

I feel your pain Babs, my soulmate passed away in May and the funeral was last Monday, its so tough and although we have lots of good memories that doesn’t alter the fact that we have lost the most treasured person in our lives, it will be a long journey and I’m hurting and heartbroken.

Chaz

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss to Chaz and I know nothing I can say will ease the hurt or heartbreak you feell right now …the early days after the funeral are particularly challenging when everyone seems to go back to thier lives and that’s all we see and feel is an emptiness…people say time heals …? …I think our lives eventually appear to grow around us but in such a different way to the way we had been used to …remeber the journey is not one you have to travel alone …take care
Babs

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I’m just so heartbroken, it hurts so much and god I’m missing her like crazy, the place is empty i keep thinking that just 3 weeks ago she was here and we were laughing and joking, I know its recent but i cant see any more happiness, she was my love, my soulmate my everything and nows she’s gone. I cant even sleep in our bed so i"m on the couch dozing when I can, thank you babs.

All the emotions and feelings you are going through are strong emotions …it can feel like you are suffocating at times with the feeling of grief …I get what you are saying when you talk of only three weeks ago your wife was there laughing and joking with you …it is a surreal feeling when someone is suddenly not there anymore . Dont be hard on yourself right now …it is very early days …trying to rest our minds can give us the strengh for whatever tomorrow brings …life has taken away our soulmates …but nothing can take away the precious memories we have stored away in our hearts …take care now

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Chas I completely understand where you’re coming from, and it’s HORRIBLE! I suddenly lost my wife 6 weeks ago after 56 years of married bliss and I recognise all your feelings of emptiness. I’m too new at this to offer you any useful advice. Kind words are always welcome but they’re not enough when your whole world has been shattered. Stay strong, if you can.
AL

I know its early days and what makes it worse is its my birthday later this month, i found the card she’d bought me but she hadn’t written a message yet, and now all I’ve got is her ashes and I still make her a cup of tea when I’m in a daze and cant bring myself to wash her old clothes in the basket, its so very different, and I hate it. I do have lovely memories of our love, we were so close and spent all day together i just hope I can focus on them in time and not have this pain and longing inside. I found her dead on the bedroom floor and that sight wont leave me, i held her hand and kissed her but she was so cold.

Im so sorry you’ve lost lost your wife, I know so well what you are going through, we are both going through it, My wife was fine on the Friday and then she was dead on Saturday and what makes it worse is the post mortem stated her death as bronchopneumonia, she had no symptoms and the coroner said it just overwhelmed her lungs, they tested her for Covid but that was ruled out. Her death was very rare and I just wish she had shown symptoms that could have been investigated . Hope they are both at peace anyway, after 56 years it must be the worst pain ever,. take care AL

Chas, It is the worse pain, ever. I am so sorry that you are going through it.

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Thank you MaryL, its is the worst pain ever and I was totally unprepared as her death was sudden and I found her already dead.
My emotions range from sadness and isolation to guilt, If I had found her sooner and could have got help and saved her, I was told by the paramedics that in all likelihood I couldn’t have but my brain keeps telling me I might have.
Hopefully I can move forward from this and concentrate on our very happy marriage and the memories I have with my beautiful girl.

Chas, thank you for your reply, I found my husband on our bedroom floor, he was dead. The shock is horrendous isn’t it? He died just before 9.00pm on the 15th August 2019, we had been married for 59 years, I sat up all night, I could not absorb it, I knew that Stan wasn’t well but I never expected him to die. I was in shock for at least 6 months afterwards in fact I believe that I am still in shock. We have a daughter and a son, both in their 50’s, both of them live 80 miles away in opposite directions, we have a grandson and a great grandson who live near to our daughter and her husband, his mum and dad. I am very lucky that they keep in touch regularly and we share video calls.
Take good care of yourself, rest and be kind to yourself, guilt is a feeling which appears to accompany grief.
Blessings,
Mary.

MaryL, The shock finding your soulmate dead must be one of the most extreme feelings that you go through, an ordinary day transformed into a living nightmare. Being married 59 years and then losing your loved one must be so numbing, it was both of our second marriages and we were blessed finding each other, we were married in 2003 after a 6 month romance and some people thought we were foolish making that commitment so soon after we met.

We were blissfully happy and we had both never loved anyone so much before, it was just meant to be. In later years the doubters admitted they were wrong and told me that my wife, Bronwyn, had told them she was so overjoyed at finding the love of her life. In a blink of an eye it’ changed, she had just turned 62.

I have grandkids from her children and I love then so much, Bronwyn will live on in all our family’s hearts, she was very much loved and I’m painfully grieving over my beautiful girl that’s gone too soon. Thank you for your support Mary L, take care x

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