My soul mate

I lost my soulmate on the 28th november we had been on a Caribbean cruise on the 21st of october till the 5th of november we had a flight from Antigua to birmingham when we landed she got in taxi and her leg started bleeding really bad from a tumor i told taxi to drive straight to Leicester royal infirmary as the ambulance at the airport was going to be an hour we went straight to oncology suite where a nurse asked who i was as my partner had been going hospital on her own haveing biopsies and chemo and not been telling any body it was a real shock the nurse asked if she had any family as nobody had been with her on all these visits she was in the hospital 5 days then came home for 9 days then had to go back in to hospital because she was going down hill i went to the hospital with her and went home 6:30am at 9:30 am had a call can all the family come downshe then went to loros and lasted another 6 days when she passed i came home and had to put all the holiday clothes away knowing she is never gunna be wearing them again she was 57 i am 46 we was togeather 11 years never done anything appart except if she went on hen partysi feel that my heart has been ripped in 2 i dont know what im gunna do with out her we had her funeral on the 16th she was my world and im so scared feel like theres no future i am heat broken :broken_heart:

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I am so sorry for your loss.
I am in a similar situation. My husband passed away 12th November just before my birthday, his service was held the beginning of December (just after what would have been his 57th birthday)
He had been diagnosed with a lung disease in June following a bad case of pneumonia (was told he had pneumonia then COVID pneumonia) I June we were told they were referring him to a specialist for the lung disease - the hospital never did this! They only referred him in September! Each time he went back into hospital he came out worse, September/October the discharge letter and meds were all wrong.
He went back in the beginning of November, was not out onto the respiratory unit until the Thursday before he passed. He also nearly died on the Wednesday and the hospital didn’t call me!
Was told they were waiting for the specialists to confirm treatment (this should have been done in June) then I was told the specialist hospital will not see him now as he cannot walk into their hospital (he would have I they referred him like they were supposed to), that he would not see Christmas so I need to notify his family (as they live 3hrs away) was also told that it’s my fault he was suffering because of our pets (he hasn’t been near them since being diagnosed - even though there is nothing to say they have anything to do with the disease) The Dr told me I am killing my husband as I am contaminating him with the pets being on the property… They couldn’t answer why they never did their job properly but made sure to blame me.
I went outside for 30minutes to make relevant calls. Came back into my husband to be told that he has days, and then would not see through that night! (This was the Thursday, he passed away the Saturday)
We have been together 14 years, the only time in those 14 years spent apart is when we were working and recently his time in hospital - never apart since being together. He is/was my soul mate and I am absolutely lost now.
I hate closing my eyes as I know when I open them he is not here. I am absolutely broken and on top of that I am fighting the guilt of was it my fault?
My whole world has fallen apart.

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my lovely husband passed away in July 2022. He had Covid in November 21 and was completely ignored his lung collapsed. Dr ignored him in the end took him to A&E with a immediately checked him in its transferred guys in London. Spent five weeks there in February, came home with a chesty for two weeks went back up kept in again as he had sepsis the drain has been left in too long could not get is that right they found out he had MDS. A rare blood cancer led us to believe it was treatable. He was really ill but as a fighter in May, he was transferred back to a local hospital and placed on the cancer ward he really thought it was going to get better, but he slowly went downhill such a fighter and for me. I hold his hand when he passed away he looked at me. I told him to go stop him suffering. I feel guilty for that, but he would’ve hated to have had loads more chemo and it was an oxygen. I need a wheelchair. God bless him. He was so fit this time last year working away. He was my life, my soulmate

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@Nett My heart really goes out to you!

The night before my darling wife marian died, I knew the time was near.

I kissed her, held her hand and said something like “My darling I will always love you, I wish I could have your pain but please darling we both believe we will meet again one day. I want you to rest and not be afraid. I’m here with you when you know it’s time, goodbye my darling till we meet again when you will have no more pain and a brand new body. I love you so very much. Shalom, Mizpah my darling Marian”
Shortly after she took her last breath on this earth.

Tears are flowing as I write this, but please know you are precious and loved. The pain is like a scar that we are always aware of.

Shalom & gentle hugs, john (and marian)

We were “temporarily separated” at 01:14hrs
27th May, 2022.

Mizpah = The Lord watch between you and me, when we are absent one from the other”

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@Barney1976
@Kel2
@jomar
@nett
My heart goes out to all of you with your losses. You have had the extra anxiety of their health to deal with and for some the errors made by others. That must be so difficult to come to terms with.
Please know that you are not alone with many of us being here to support each other.

I did not have the medical errors to deal with other than the fact the the nearest hospital my husband was first taken to had the A&E removed last year so he was a forced to travel with the friend who took him (ambulance would be 3-4 hours) to another one 25 miles away.

I hope you will each find peace in time.
Sending love to you all. xxx

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What lovely words you said to,your wife

I was able to be with my husband as he passed and I had spent the previous 5 days with him in the hospital just holding him and talking to,him of love and memories .
It’s never long enough though is it?

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I am so sorry as it makes it worse when we feel our wonderful husbands were not treated properly and could,have been with us longer.
There were many mistakes made in my husbands short stay in hospital,before he died and I am taking it up with them to try to get answers.
It won’t bring him back, I miss him and cry every day - but I still feel,I have to,do,something .

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Sandra7. I am planning to raise a complaint, there is already an investigation going on with the hospital. As you say, I know it won’t bring him back, but answers may help. And if it can stop another family going through the same thing (by the mistakes being addressed) then that’s something good that comes out of this.

Yes exactly - I feel the same - every day waking up and crying because he’s not here makes it hard to push myself,to take action but I will do everything i can, it wasn’t just mistakes but it was refusal,to offer all the treatment that is available as they didn’t seem to think he was worth it due to complex health issues. He was worth it. IHe was my husband, he was happy and so loved and the centre of my life :cry:

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The hospital blamed me for my husband’s passing. That has stuck with me.
I know it’s not my fault… I know the hospital failed him.
But it doesn’t stop me blaming myself, replaying his last few months - should/could I have done something different? His last days - when they told us he wasn’t going to survive so on Palliative meds, did we give up too easily? The hospital had already failed him, was this their way of making sure they didnt have to deal with him anymore? & We went along with it thinking it’s best?
I feel like I failed him so much and this is my punishment now, i am suffering without him. I am broken.

I am struggling to get my head into gear to write the complaint, wondering if I should seek advice on it - but am at a loss on where to go to get advice. But it is something I need to do.
Unfortunately he didn’t have a will. It’s always been known by the family that he was leaving everything to me, but his daughter is now pushing for financial gain (we have nothing personally, we rent our home, no savings) but apparently she can claim from his employers and pensions so I am having to fight that. (People I have spoken with all thought pensions came directly to the spouse - apparently not)
Not wanting to sound horrible against the daughter, I would never have seen her without… But she only ever wanted to know my husband when she wanted money. She’s still doing it now and that hurts.
So I am not even able to fully grieve as I have to sort that along with the Hospital complaint… But at the same time, these are probably the only reasons I’m still here - to get those rectified :disappointed:

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Sorry for my last message… Bit of an outburst. Sorry.
I just seem to be struggling so much and all I want is my husband x

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Shalom to you John also
It is awful when we lose the other half that makes us whole. I talk to Brian all the time and feel his presence when i ask for help. I know god and Brian guide me. I cry everynight for my loss but know Brian wants me to live my last few years
Keep coming on here it helps to share our thoughts

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No need to apologise here @Kel2 It’s a safe place to vent any emotions and complications. You are going through terrible times and need to express how it is affecting you.

I wish I could offer advice but I don’t have any expertise in those areas, of complaints procedures or financial. I also thought pensions came to spouse, although I know intestacy rules mean that over a certain amount and children inherit some. That is the case with me as the farmland was in my husbands name only so my daughters have to inherit some of his estate, since he hadn’t made a will either.

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Thank you @ KarenF x

I feel like I’m struggling more now than ever!
All I want is to be with him…
Have even looked into it (best way etc) … But know I would fail at that, like I failed him and failing now with trying to sort everything else.
I need to get answers/justice for him. Get everything sorted… That is the only thing that is keeping me going right now.
I have nothing else now he’s gone. I know I have my pets and I live them so much, they are my babies, but I actually wonder if I’m any good for them as I’ve failed their dad? Maybe they’re better with someone else who can look after them better than me.

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@Kel2

Your pets will need you rather than anyone else as it’s you who loves them. Love is everything.
You did not fail your husband. If he had any allergy to the pets it would have shown up way before. My daughter has asthma which can be triggered by pet dander but she still chooses to have cats.

I hope you will find peace someday but it will take time.
Hugs xxx

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I was with my Husband when he passed away with cancer he was suffering and had sepsis he was also getting fed up with keep going to the hospital for chemo

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