My Step Dad died suddenly this morning,

Hi,

I really need some support and thank you for taking the time to read my post. My Step Dad who has been more of a real Dad to me in my life,and there for me and my son,died suddenly this morning after being unwell for quite a while. To make matters worst it is coming up to the second year since i lost my Mum in one days time. I am so upset and devastated. I feel i have no family left now,just me and my 13 year old son. I just feel so alone. No brothers or Sisters,and one best friend who works fulltime. I am a lone parent battling an illness on and off for 7 years now. I feel guilty for not constantly visiting my Dad more often,but did do a lot to help him especially when we lost Mum. Never thought i could feel so empty. My son starts back at school September 3rd,and i used to ring my Dad everyday,now i have to get used to not speaking to an adult regularly each day. I find it hard to get out,and i am not well enough to work. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks,Lucy xx

Hello Lucy

I’m so sorry to hear about your step Dad. It sounds as though things are very tough at the moment and you are feeling overwhelmed.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here is coping with the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

We also offer online bereavement counselling to members of this community. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: https://support.sueryder.org/bereavement-counselling

Take care,

Mick
Online Community team

Lucy I am so sorry for your loss of your Dad. There is support out there both on here and thru your doctor, take care best advice us talk to people it will help. X

Hello Lucy, lonely but never alone is what I try to tell myself. Just now sat in bed watching the birds in the garden with my one companion sat on my legs, my cat. Yes, I understand totally how you feel, there’s a of us in the same boat and it’s not nice. Not being able to work doesn’t help but once your son is back at school look for something to help you pass the days. Anything is better than feeling low because you are on your own. Look at as being your time, for you to do something just for you. I don’t know you so can’t suggest anything but something that makes you feel happy and your loneliness will be less not gone away but less. With both your parents going around the same time be watchful next year because it is likely to come back and bit you. I do know that you are strong and you will get through this and be much better but it’s time. Take care of yourself. Blessings S

Hi, I’m Matthew. I am genuinely sorry to read your news and how you feel. I lost my dad 20 years ago and feel as though I’m preparing myself by joining here knowing my mum has recently been diagnosed with heart failure. A friend mentioned the concept of equanimity to me today which I’d never heard about before and I hope the link to follow helps you in some way https://www.insightmeditationcenter.org/books-articles/articles/equanimity/

Hi,

Matthew,just logged on here before going to bed. Thanks for the reply. So sorry for the tough time you are having,and the loss of your Dad. I hope with all hopes,that there is someway your Mum can get better recover,and stay stable. I have an Auntie who has suffered with heart problems,and hope she continues to stay stable to. I will have a look at your link now,Many Thanks,Lucy x

Thank you Lucy, I don’t think what she has is curable but with a proper diagnosis I hope it’s treatable and have more time with her.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and try to take each day as it comes. Do take care