My wife has gone

Hello, I just came across this site and thought I’d post something.
I lost my wife suddenly at the end of August. We have been together for 9 years (3 years married) and I’m completely lost without her. We completed each other, we never argued, we were constantly laughing and were just so in love with each other. We had the rest of lives to live together and now that has been destroyed and I can’t help but think what’s the point anymore. I’ve lost interest in everything, I can’t focus at work, I’m just constantly low. The thought of living the rest of my life without her is devastating.
I’m in the middle of counselling at the minute but I honestly don’t feel like it’s helping. I appreciate what they’re doing and it’s good to offload to someone who listens but after the phone call I just go straight back to how I feel right now.
I’m sorry I don’t know what I think I’m going to get out of posting on here but at the minute I’m just trying anything for some kind break from the despair and pain.


Hello Ish, sorry to hear about your recent loss and sorry that you’re in this terrible situation.
I also lost my wife last year and I understand how you’re feeling.
I wish I could take it from you as it is a pain like no other I’ve felt before and one I wish I’d never met.
Try and persevere with the counselling as some good may come from it, you may not just feel it right now.
Try not to expect too much of yourself as you’ve had such a huge change to your life and it is so much to deal with.
I wish I could offer you more advice and assurance about things but I’m a novice at this game myself and I’m still wandering about in the dark at the minute.
You’re not alone in feeling like this though as myself and others on here have shared their feelings and their pain.
Take care Ish and don’t be afraid to let others know if you’re struggling.


Hi Ish
I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my husband in August after a very short battle with cancer. Even now I can’t accept he has gone. I too tried counselling and did a couple of face to face meetings coming away thinking well that was a waste of time and money. I found a local group who meet once a month and everyone there has either had the illness or lost someone so we can all chat about our loss and how we are feeling for me this helps. It might be worth you looking for grief groups in your area. Take care of yourself.


I have thought of counselling but it’s true nothing or anyone can remove the pain or sorrow to make me feel better, I know it’s something only I can work through myself, even medication is only a temporary reprieve, I find grief poetry helps, walking the dog being outside with nature, chatting with my lovely sister remembering my life with my husband and gentle exercise at the gym, we all have to find our own way and grief is a relentless friend, nurture yourself and find whatever gives you comfort thinking of everyone on this sad journey xx


San B.
I too found grief counselling a waste of time. It was all cliches being repeated over and over. Unless you have gone through grief yourself then you can never learn to counsel someone.
Like you I found talking to people who have suffered the same as I have,a much better way to cope. I also hate it when people say ’ but you will always have the memories." What good are they? I didn’t want the memories. I wanted the moment.


Thank you for all the Responses so far. I will have a look for any local groups for people going through this and see if that helps at all.
I know one of the main ways to help cope is being occupied, walks, hobbies, talking with friends/family etc but I just don’t have the energy or even the slightest bit of interest in doing anything at all.
I feel like I’m just waiting for each day to end because that means it’s one day less until the end.


Hello Ish , sorry for your loss . I had counselling over the phone but it is better to have it face to face , which i started last week . Ask your GP or you can refer yourself . It is a difficult journey and we have to take it day by day. Take care .
Love Angie xx

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You are so right, Angiejo2 you brought a smile through tears when I read you last sentence…

“I don’t want the memories, I want the moment.”

No truer word spoken… but alas, the moments have gone… for now, and if you believe there is an afterlife then you will have them again, all be it, in a different way.

God bless you.


Sorry about your wife ish it’s so horrible lost my husband 14 month ago grieve is terrible but you must take off yourself annie x x