My wife passed last july

My wife passed July 2020,I find it very hard to cope at times,

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Colin,
Sorry for your loss.
I hope being on here helps you as much as it has me.
You may feel loneliness, but you are not alone.
Time is relative. I take every moment as it comes.
Do what works for you.

Take care,
James

Thank you James,I think we all need someone at times like this,

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@Colin1 hi Colin I am so very sorry for your loss I hope you have support around you keep posting on here you will find support everyone here understands our pain and we all try to help eachother as best as we can sending hugs

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Thank you Casey it’s nice to know someone is there,sending hugs too,

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Hi Colin

I’m so sorry about the loss, I lost my wife of 38 years in September. I had known her for nearly 50 years.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with, and at times I think how have I got this far.

It took me 9 months to seek help and I’m in a queue for a counsellor at the moment.

This site is a good place though, its a place where you won’t be judged, you are among people with the same feelings. It won’t give you what you need, nothing will I’m afraid, but you can share your feelings anonymously and therefore, allows you to temporarily get things off your chest, a trouble shared as they say.

We are all in the same boat, so jump aboard.

It’s nice to hear more from the husbands or male partners, at times I thought I was the only bloke. But that’s probably because us fellas think we are tough, well we’re not when it comes to affairs of the heart. We hurt as much if not more, the loss of the important person in our lives was the glue that held us together, and I have certainly fallen apart without my wife by my side. I still can’t believe it after 10 months.

My thoughts are with you.

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Thank you mikeh,it is very hard to lose your wife and I’m sorry for your loss,we were married 48 years and we knew each other for 51,I’ve never felt pain like it before as I’m sure you haven’t,men aren’t as tough as they think,and thank you for finding the time at this hard time to chat to me,I wish you well for the future,and take care,

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You are welcome Colin

It’s so hard getting on with life on your own, so many things just worked without even thinking about them, but now, everything is such a chore. The things you used to enjoy, you don’t or can’t be bothered to do anymore, and so many things have to be done, as the world keeps turning regardless of your situation. New things, like remembering birthdays, you have to do but half hearted, and as for signing cards in your name only, well I struggle with that. Cooking, shopping, even travelling on your own without your companion by your side is difficult. I wish I knew how to deal with these things without upset and heartache. Insomnia is another new unwanted skill I have. The thought of going to bed alone, well, I don’t cope with that very well.

I can only hope that at some point, I will get to terms with all these feelings.

I wish you well Colin, and hope you find peace.

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It’s a whole new way of life,if you can call it that,I think I just exist at the moment,you’re right we take things for granted,it’s the little things,saying goodorning with a hug,I miss the chats,like you say having someone by your side and doing the every day things together,now it’s everything on your own,I miss my wife so much,she was definitely my best friend and soul mate,and I thought we were going to grow old together and enjoy everything,but now I’m lost in a misty kind of world where nothing will ever be the same,

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Hi All,
Just over 4 weeks be 5 weeks Tuesday I lost my wife of 30 years,…
It gives me strength, knowing I am not alone,
I feel your pain, all of you, together…
We will be stronger.
Foggy

Hello Colin, I am sorry for your loss. My own wife passed in August last year, we were about to celebrate our 45th anniversary. Loke you, I have found these months to be very difficult, we had known each other for 50 years and were looking forward. Almost a year on and I am lucky to have good friends, neighbours and some family who have helped me get through so far. Then again, there are a few, who I will never be able to forgive for their action, indifference and poor care. My wife used to say it isn’t up to us to judge, so their time will come. Yes, I am still angry and still looking for answers. Someone said to me the other day “you have to accept it”. It is so hard to do that. The people who have helped me have done so by not avoiding me, talking about her and remembering. This has made life a little more bearable. Getting out and talking to people is good therapy, but it is not easy. We had a good marriage, she was a caring person, a nurse 38 years and all she ever wanted was to help people. This site has helped me because people here know what you are going through. It has been a comfort. I hope it is of some comfort to you.

I can understand your situation malc,I have the same,people always say if ever you need anything just let me know,and I’m sorry for your loss too,it isn’t an easy time,and there is no solution unfortunately,but losing your wife means living a different life to what we get used to,but keep your memories,your love and your thoughts,there will be something every day that reminds us,so stay strong and take care,

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You too my friend. Stay safe

Hello Colin, we suffer together, I was with my lady for 47 years, she died in my arms June 2020 aged 63, I can’t tell you how to cope, I’ve surrounded myself with her photos, listen to our music and talk to her every day this helps me, my best regards Kev

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I do exactly the same Kev,I know exactly how you feel,I had to give my wife CPR but she was to I’ll to respond,the paramedics got her back once but Pauline’s heart was to weak to support her,you take care too Kev ,and all the best to you,

Hi Colin, know exactly what that feels like. I lost my wife in my arms last September after 47 years and was 63.
Words can’t express what it feels like. Thoughts are with you mate.

Sorry to hear of your loss Mikeh. It is very hard,my thoughts are with you too,