I hope I don’t feel as upset as I do now in two year’s time that is if I am still alive as by then I will be 80. But who knows? I haven’t moved the last note he wrote to himself. It was a reminder what to do before going in hospital but in his writing. It is poignant.
Why I do it is a bit nuts as it only upsets me seeing it. Suppose reminds me how organised he tried to be. How he was. What I liked a out him. That he did that
Can’t somehow. But see how I feel. Yesterday I was upset as he loved the Morris dancing but last year wasn’t well enough and all the crowds. I only wanted to go because my grandson was dancing round the maypole and we have never seen any of them wanting to do it before.
I felt like a fish out if water in my own. I stuck it out too long really. So tired today now. But all the work to do on my own now.
Hi yes I will be 80 in 2 years as well,God help us all. x
Thank you all. clearly what I am feeling is quite normal. It is only 5 weeks since my partner passed & although all of his things even his car makes me emotional but I can not bear to part with anything just yet. I know he is not coming back but don’t want to remove him like he never existed which seems to happen with everything else!
Our lives revolved around each other his children & mine all grown up & gone back to their own lives , now very alone with just memories & his belongings. Very sad times
Yes that is a good point that don’t want him to be gone as if never existed. Hadn’t thought that was why.
Well use his tools. Like today. Put them where he put them. Use his stuff. Son puts his old gardening boots in like walking I. His shoes. I like doing that. Like looking at pictures. Still got his hearing aid where he left it. His glasses. I cleaned them. Why not?
I had a siilar priviledge to have a large pay out by one of my husband’s pensions. It feels odd, unsettling, uncomfortable, to know our family have more financial & material security than we could ever dream of - but my soulmate isn’t here to benefit from it. I would swap it all to have him back today.
We have little joy from knowing we now have our own home, the children & I had our first holiday abroad ever - and was so emotional & hard for my teens & I as all we coulx think of is how much he would have wanted to be with us.