My husband died 5 weeks ago. I have become obsessed with thoughts of when we first met is this normal. It makes me so upset as I wish I had discussed this with him before he became so ill. I try and go out every day if only for a walk. everyone says it gets better with time but time goes slowly. My sister has really upset me. She says she cant understand why I am so upset as I coped so well looking after him at home and being there at the end. But I did this for him.
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@navyman Your sister has been a little unfeeling & unthinking with her comment. You are so upset because you’ve lost the other half of your soul, the person who potentially knew you better than you knew yourself. Hopefully she will never have to experience how this truly feels. 
I think she may have said it out of concern for you, but it obviously is from a place of unmeaning ignorance.
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There is no ‘normal’ when grieving, it’s totally individual to the person. It has only been 5 weeks so your mind and heart will be trying to process the shock and trauma of losing a loved one.
Your sister was totally insensitive with her comment, coping with a loved one and being there at the end is pre-grieving and then comes grieving the actual/physical loss. Take care of you and give yourself permission to grieve and if your sister can’t be supportive in how you feel, keep some distance. You don’t need or deserve additional upset. Take your time, this is your journey not hers
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I know exactly how you feel my partner passed away 5 weeks ago he was 55. My children 25,28 and 34 have gotten me through the last few weeks but nobody can fill that void I feel. Nights are worse I just seem to stay up later and later. I’ve been trying to get some jobs done just to distract myself in the daytime, sending big hugs to everyone that is going through this horrible journey
Hi Debbie
I lost my partner also 55 in September. I totally get what you’re saying about nights 
. I have found downloading books from audible a source of distraction in the daunting dark hours. So sorry, not something you expect at this age. Xx
When he was ill I had to write my thoughts down every night just to keep myself sane, but as soon as he passed I never wrote in it again I’m hoping to start reading on my kindle again soon but I know at moment I will probably read the first page over and over again because I can’t seem to take anything in x