Nearing Anniversary of mum's death

My mum died on the 16th if October last year the night before her birthday. I was her carer. The closer I get to.the day the more distressed I’m getting. I started developing (more) health issues in March. I’ve just been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It affects my ability to walk and to use my hands and arms. I also have sciatica problems affecting my sitting and laying on my back. If I’d known then what was going to happen to me I would have just given up.
Today, coming back from an emergency dental visit by bus ( I only go out 10 mins away usually) I left my coccyx support cushion on the bus. I couldn’t get the driver to get back on, hurt my legs trying to get to the next stop and catching a bus to the depot. Whilst trying to phone them, but closed for weekend.
I have been living in my mum’s house but have to move back to my studio flat on second, as house needs selling; and I have no income (tenant moving out) and can’t claim benefits till I’m there. Trying to hope for things to get better, this is hurting my arms to type! Can’t even pack for myself to move, friends helping.

I’m so sorry - it sounds as though you are going through a really painful time as the anniversary of your mum’s death gets closer. Anniversaries can be such difficult times, and I found I didn’t even know how I was going to feel about one until it was the day itself.

Have you been able to think about anything that you might like to do on that date? My mum died just before Mother’s Day this year and I planned to buy her favourite flowers which were also the last flowers I gave her before she died. It helped just think about it a bit, even though it hurt because she wouldn’t be here.

Take care - these are such heartbreaking times