Nearly 7 months and it just still feels so wrong. I keep saying to myself that it’s not right. Crying. Memories. The feeling that nothing can be ‘normal’ without you.
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Nothing will be the same… It has been a year and I still struggle immensely. I had to learn so many things to survive that it has made me more independent, but it’s still a nightmare… Each of us tries to find a comfort in something to stay mentally sane and feel a little bit of joy again,. and we support each other the best we can.,
Janka
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Morning @Sackboy
It’s 8 months for me now, I try to keep busy which helps. Some days are better than others. Take Care 
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I have great friends but Nothing replaces him. No one can be that special relationship.
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Dear @Sackboy ,
of course it feels wrong because it is horribly wrong, that your beloved wife passed away.
The grief and the sadness will be present for the rest of our lives, even though they will fade into the background a bit as time passes.
In a way your beloved wife is still with you, she’s watching out for you from Heaven.
So please take good care of yourself and be kind to yourself!
And whenever your time is up you two will be reunited in Heaven for all eternity.
Kind regards - Joe
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A fellow widow told me the grief doesn’t go but you become stronger than the grief. I like that thought.
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Yes. That’s exactly how I feel at eight months. I just can’t get my head around my lovely partner’s sudden death. I don’t feel I belong anymore. The anxiety is debilitating. I long for peace.
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The anxiety is unbearable! I just woke up and it’s torturing me beyond words… I have to get up for work and nobody cares there how much I’m grieving… I can’t show how I suffer at all…
Janka
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Bless you Janka, that it not easy. I know how it is when you’re in work. There are days I just want to run away from it all, as people just assume you’re doing fine. Well actually they seem to run away from me like I’m some kind of alien! And this is in a school of supposedly educated people, who should know better…
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This forum is such a blessing that I’d cry from joy… Nobody cares at work about our broken hearts… The worst is going for shopping and the same questions how I’m doing all over again… Everybody said how fine they are, Once, when I was ready to pay, a cashier asked me again and I was silent, because I didn’t know what to say, so she asked me again wanting my answer and I couldn’t stand her staring at me, so I said that I can’t say what she wants to hear, because my most beloved husband died and I asked her not to do it again… However they always do it and they have no clue how torturing it is for me, so I started talking about something else, because pretending something false is not my style, I hate lying…
Janka
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Morning @Janka
I also find this forum a lifeline . Nobody understands unless they have are going through it . The people in the supermarkets are trained to make everyone feel welcome. And ask how they are , I know that doesn’t help . When we are having a bad day and don’t want to make small talk .
Hope you find a bit of peace in you day. 
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Thanks for a kind answer! I’m getting ready for bed, it’s after midnight here. I’ve been working from morning till 6 pm, so despite my morning anxiety killing me when I open my eyes, I’ll welcome my day off gladly, You all are my spiritual family that I’m grateful for from the bottom of my heart.
Janka
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Goodnight @Janka
Hope you have a peaceful sleep 
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Dear Janka,
Good night from me also, wish you a restful night!
May God bless you!
Kind regards - Joe
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I just say I feel bad still or if I’m in a really bad mood I say I feel like shit. it depends on who it is. I suppose being asked that is better than being ignored or given no eye contact when they speak to you.
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