Need advice

I lost my mom 6 months back and it was a sudden cardiac arrest, she was gone within mins, We all are in shock till now, with many questions about what happened, she was just 56. She was the only woman in the house so naturally she was the emotional support of my dad, me and my brother. Although things were little difficult last year and there was some minor stress but nothing major and she was enjoying her life. But after her death, everyone is dealing with grief separately. What I need advice from people here is that my Brother has been affected mentally, He has been creating scenes at home and throwing things around with massive shouting. Although me and my dad are suffering in silence, he is making things more difficult, we consulted a counsellor, a psychiatrist but the mess he is creating has started to affect me on deeper level affecting my sleep, food and I am feeling more scared. I am thinking to move out but because my work is near I thought staying together will be a good thing at this time but I don’t understand anything now. Can someone please help

That sounds so difficult for you all, @Varun. I’m giving your thread a bump - hopefully someone will be along to share their thoughts.

That sounds very hard Varun, everyone deals with things differently. My mum died 5 weeks ago, and my brother also lashed out, at his girlfriend mostly and he booked a flight to another country for a few days. I was left grieving and handling admin and important decisions. So lashing out is normal, but not if it’s directed at you, you need support - maybe your dad can help get your brother some medication that may soothe him for now if you guys are worried, but he may need more help than this, I think Sue Ryder offer counseling would bhe be open to that?

Is there something your brother used to like to do that you could suggest doing together? Does he have any friends supporting him?

Also consider whether you can aford to move out, it could be quite costly, but may be worth it if you are not feeling safe.

Medicines are on, but I am worried he might take some bad steps, he once was gonna overdose himself and we had to stop him and he is a huge man. My dad tries a lot to stay with him at all times, he has done counselling but it is not getting better
We advised him to go swimming but he refuses, I am just not feeling safe now but I worry what will happen if he does something to himself or dad in Anger

The counsellor and psychiatrist need to be dealing with this, not you. His doctor needs to be informed at least. Physical activity would help but he has to want to, and it sounds like there is more going on if he is still like this at 6 months, unless he was already suffering prior to your mum passing. Please call Sue Ryder for support.

Thanks for listening sophie. We requested the psychiatrist to handle it but she is like he needs a carer, He wasn’t suffering before and he has been okay 3 months after mom passing away but idk what has happened to him, I am just26 and he is 3 years elder to me, me and my dad are trying are best but we are also grieving after the sudden shock of my mom, taking responsibilities, managing career and also taking care of my grandmom and this guy is just making things more difficult for us and I am very scared now, I am having breakdown and nightmares. I can’t see anymore violence or worst possible death.
I can’t contact the Sue ryder because I am from India so have reached to private psychologist and psychiatrist.
I really appreciate you replying when no one else was doing it

In this situation you could speak to psychiatrist or his doctor again. if you can afford a carer maybe that would help but sounds like family is available.
You need to focus on YOU, he is old enough to take care of himself, and your family can watch for him. You are not his father . Make sure he is sleeping well, maybe doctor can give him something to help anxiety/sleep.
Aside from that, focus on you for now.

You are right @Sophie8. I will try and move out, I think that will be better for myself, We can try and afford a carer for few months till the medicines show effect. Thanks for your concern, I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.
You are a kind human being, take care Sophie

Good luck Varun stay well