Need to talk to someone

I need to talk to someone, I feel so alone with this :sob:. My boyfriend has had back pain problems for quite some time, & sometimes has issues going to the loo, well Yesterday my boyfriend had a hospital appointment about a test sample he’d handed in, there was blood in his sample & the doctor wanted to check him over, but when the doctor suggested sending him for a colonoscopy, or x-ray he refused, though he did let the doctor check his tummy, the sample was to check for colon cancer, & now I’m scared that because he didn’t let the doctor check properly, he could have cancer & we won’t find out about it till it’s too late :sob:. I currently have an uncle who is dieing of colon cancer, my Grampa had cancer that spread into his stomach, he committed suicide back in the 90s because he didn’t want to suffer with it any more, & 2 years ago my mom died of brain tumours. In 2020 when she collapsed, 2 days after my birthday that year, it was too late, the tumours were terminal & there was nothing they could do, again this is all happening just before my birthday, & I’m scared history is going to repeat itself. I’ve been in a flood of tears since yesterday when I got the message from his mom telling me about it. & To top it all off, I woke 2:20am this morning, when I did finally get back to sleep, I had a nightmare about my boyfriend, clutching his stomach in pain & being rushed to hospital.
I feel devastated. Since my mom passed, it’s my boyfriend who has kept me alive, without him, I’m stuck with my dad who has an alcohol problem, & often takes out his issues out on me, I just don’t think I can live without him.


Hello @Pandaprincess, thank you for reaching out. I hope your boyfriend is okay - after all you have been through, it’s completely understandable you would be fearing the worst.

I’m just giving your thread a gentle bump - hopefully someone will be along to offer their support. Remember too that you can talk to the Samaritans at any time about anything - they’re on 116 123.

Take good care,

hold on tight. cancer today is ravaging so many lives. your fears are most understandable. I hope he knows how important he is to you. express this as you may miss the moment if you don’t.

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Hi @berit
Thanks for your reply, yes he knows how much I love him, & how important he is to me. Sound advice, I will cherish every moment with him, who knows when it may be our last.