Never ending crying....

Come 11 the October it will be six months since I lost my Richard, age 74…and hand on heart their has not been one day i a have nor cried nor gone to pieces…we have all heard of the song…" Cry Me a River " by the late Ella Fitzgerald…

Jackie…

I will try this again minus the spelling mistakes this time…

Come 11th October it will be six months to the date that i suddenly and unexpectedly lost my Richard age 74 …and hand on heart, there has not been one day i have not cried or gone to pieces…we have all heard of the song sung by the late Ella Fitzgerald…" Cry Me a River…"

Let the tears come Jackie they are a release. I have cried, for what seems years. It will be a year in November and there has been tears every day., and for the months before he went knowing what was coming. I thought I had spent all my tears when he died but not so. Still crying that river. I still have the occasional meltdown, but must admit to feeling alot calmer afterwards. Just accept the tears Jackie, don’t fight them.

Pat xxx

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I am just the same Jackie it will be three months tomorrow I lost my Roger and I cry everyday, and the tears come at such odd times like this morning I was sorting the rubbish bins out with tears rolling down my face, when my daughter catches me crying she says you having a moment and both hug till the moment passes,
So sending you hugs to Jackie just let the tears flow it don’t help to bottle it up take care x

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Dear Jackie, I have never had a day when I haven’t cried for my husband John whom I lost just over 2 months ago. In fact barely more than a couple of hours pass before tears come, sometimes I sob and other times I cry out for him. Life is meaningless to me and I wish it would just end. Friends say it will get better in time but I feel so desperately unhappy. This site is helpful just so that you know you are not alone in feeling how you do. Love Barbara x

I disagree with them that say " it will get better…" do we even want it to get better?..yes maybe we get more accustomed to it, but it will never " get batter…" how on earth can it, we have lost our beloveds who know - knew us more than we know ourselves…it really is like losing half of our own body…one half is mine, the other half was his…

Jackie…

Barbara…
…apolgies, my above post minus the bad spelling " get batter " " get better " was in reply to your post…No how can life get better…all we want is our old familiar life back with our beloveds, not a brand new life that we are now being placed in this unforeseen situation on now making…

Jackie…

Dear Jackie, you are so right, when you have lost the one person who knew you and loved you how can get “better”. My John can never be replaced nor can I ever recover from the loss. Thank you for understanding. Barbara

Barbara…
…when my Richard was here i was too busy nit picking his bad points and ignoring his good points, now he is gone, the bad points dont mean a thing…and i am continually telling Richard of s points and telling him and anyone i come across " that he was a good man…" and that is the way i shall always remember him and be thankful that we met and became as one for the past ( one month shy of 20 years…)

Jackie…

Dear Christine, I am certain your Richard was a very good man. Your marriage would not have lasted 20 years if he was not. In my marriage of 32 years the last 10 were the best years of my life. We were both retired and spent each day and most of each day together doing simple things and enjoying life. I miss him more than words can describe. He was a loving caring man, a good friend and a wonderful husband who could never be replaced. I feel that my life is over and really I wish it was. Love Barbara x

Barbara…
…your above post i know was meant for me ( Jackie ) not Christine…yes my Richards best traits was loyalty, punctuality and reliability, and this was to everyone he ever came in contact with not just me…Richard was always putting me first, he was so laid back, a man of very few words so not a conversationalist, and yet he never worried about the past nor the future, never ever complained about life, nor put anybody down…he just lived for the day…plus he was the calm one, yes we were chalk and cheese…his best traits probably my worst and vice versa but we come together as the ideal couple…To say i will never ever find another Richard ( Surname ) he was unique…

Jackie…

Hello Jackie-Richard
Sorry for the name mistake. Your Richard sounds like a very lovely man and shared great similarities to my John who was my life’s love and who I miss all the time. Life without him is truly hard and I have no desire to carry on, but we have no choice do we. I am having counselling which helps a little but the road ahead is not clear to me. My counsellor thinks I am doing alright but in truth I am not coping. Love Barbara x

Hi Jackie, how are you, haven’t heard from you recently.
Your Richard sounds just like Brian. We too was chalk and cheese our marriage should never have worked but it did I was the ‘gobby’ one and he was quiet and laid back. He was also very caring and kind and everyone liked him. When anyone annoyed me he would say. “Don’t argue with them, smile nicely and say the things you would like to say under your breath” It really did work. Like Richard, Brian wasn’t much of a conversationalist either. He used to get annoyed with me as I could chatter away to anyone while he just looked on, unless he was with his friends then the tables were turned.
Just before Brian died he said that it had worked between because he knew how to handle me. He just changed the subject when I kicked off. He was right, I had never noticed either why a difference of opinion would just fizzle out.
Take care Jackie, thinking of you.

Pat xx

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