Never ending ...

Today I finally got to see a GP.I went because I am worried that since my husband was diagnosed with Liver cancer in March this year (he died 7 weeks later) I have very much to my disgust and horror,put just over 4 stone (59 pounds) in weight on.I told her that I just can’t sleep properly and I eat at all hours of the day and night.Nine times out of ten I don’t know what I am eating or I am not hungry.I told her about nursing my husband in his last few weeks and that I am lonely without him.She said she was sorry for my loss,but over eating was no excuse as I was putting my health at risk.When she said to think about grief counselling,or a club for widows, I told her that to get a widows club was nigh on impossible the nearest one being 5 miles away.I am not on a bus route ,the bus stop is a mile away.I believe counselling is only going to tell me what I already know ,it won’t stop me missing him.She then asked me why I had thought I could benefit from her time if I was putting blocks up.She went on to say that normally people find they can’t eat when they grieve,so why did I feel I could eat.I couldn’t give her an answer.I felt bloody useless and stupid.I paid £14.80 there and back in the taxi,only to feel it was a waste of time and my dwindling bank account , can’t afford many more hits like this.All I was given was a print out of phone numbers of bereavement helplines ,which I already have.
Has anyone else had a problem like this ? I have tried to stop ,but I can’t.I don’t know why I am like this.

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Eating for comfort, makes sense when we are so unhappy, I can only suggest altering some of what your eating to something healthier? But will still give you comfort maybe swapping things for low calorie versions? People do all sorts of things to help when their grieving, I’d say overeating may be one of the least damaging?

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@Tearful I understand this completely! I have always been a bit of a foodie and do find comfort in eating. I also put on weight when my husband died as i was eating absolute rubbish! I am now working hard to get it back off! I find I’m better if I’m kept busy. I have also booked a couple of holidays which I’m hoping will be an incentive! It’s not easy though and we don’t need insensitive people when it’s such a struggle! J x

I only had the problem with the over-eating for about the first month or so and then I, somehow, managed to control my eating and drinking. I too like you went to my GP for help as I was feeling so over anxious and depressed, basically she didn’t listen and also gave me a list of numbers for groups etc plus decided that I needed to have something medical wrong with me which she could “fix” with medication. I have managed to loose weight, but without the doctor’s help and have also now changed surgeries. Doctor’s do seem to be very unsympathetic about any mental health problems individuals may have, the original doctor I saw even said to me towards the end of my consultation knowing that I’d lost my husband How long have you been feeling anxious like this?". I had to bite my lip as clearly she hadn’t listened. It’s very hard to know what is the best thing to do. I have a few friends near by who keep an eye on me and my daughter lives not far away plus I have 2 little cats now but I still feel lonely and lost, even after 8 months. Just keep using this forum as a place to vent your emotions as everyone here understands what you’re going through. Take care, Gail xx

@Tearful what an awful doctor! Signs of depression are not eating and overeating. I’m not saying you are depressed but they should have considered it. I can understand comfort eating to try to fill the void you now have in your life. Especially if you are isolated. I am not medically qualified but amazes me a doctor could be do blinkered! Might be worth trying a counsellor, nothing to lose. Take care.


That’s absolutely shocking I would be making a complaint. When people grieve we all do it in different ways and as a professional they should know that. Sending you hugs.x