(REALLY hoping someone appreciates my corpse bride reference…)
Hi, my names Georgia. I’m new here, and yes, this is my first time. And yes, I use humour as a coping mechanism.
So, let’s get straight to the juicy bit. As of 2018 I was made a member of the dead parent club, the club nobody wants to be a part of. I lost my mum to cancer, three weeks before starting my studies at university when I was twenty-two. My mum raised me as a single parent, and we had a very close bond. She gave me everything, and Losing her was essentially losing my guardian, best friend, partner in-crime and number one fan all in one.
my ‘father’ and I were estranged due to his heroin addiction and abuse since I was three, until the day he passed away, which was two months before my mother passed away.
It’s been a strange, scary and lonely couple of years…
Though so many good people do such a great job of making the effort to understand, It is increasingly challenging to find anyone who fully and truly resonates with heavy, serious, complicated grief, and how it changes and effects your whole life. It’s been three years, and I have only just now started to crack. I am currently having to take a suspension and leave of absence from my course due to my depleting mental health. I’m feeling pretty upset and disappointed in myself about it. I want to make my mum proud.
I battle depression, and I battle anxiety - which causes me to suffer from an ongoing tight and painful chest, and and my body just generally hurts most of the time. Ive personally found a lot of comfort in yoga and meditation. I still feel as though I’ve lost myself, my energy, my drive to do anything at all - even the smallest thing. I often find myself questioning what the point is in doing much at all, without any parents to see or be proud of me for doing it. I sometimes catch myself forgetting what my mum sounded like… I’m still only twenty-six.
I am looking to connect with any others who share this experience of loss. In particular of maternal guidance, and loss of parents and family life all together, and grieving for an absent or strained relationship parent.
Thank you so much for reading. Feeling grateful for this space that has been made for us.
Blessed be

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Hello Gem95, so good to hear you use humour to get through life because it puts thing into perspective sometimes. I do hope others come forward to help you and often new people who post find someone with similar stories. It’s hard when that one special person leaves us and mums are always special. If you want guidance then think of counselling not only for grief but your mental health in general because you need to finish your course and your mum would be extremely proud normal but even more so to complete your course. Talk to your GP about counselling not medication but counselling. Bless you for posting and my best wishes goes to you. S xx

Hi Georgia,

How are you? I’m a fellow member of the dark humour society and unfortunately a member of the dead parents club (x2) yes I am an orphan at the (relatively) young age of 34. I feel like that should make me some sort of vip, with some decent membership benefits but there seems to be none!

I lost my dad when I was 10 and my mum died 8 weeks ago. So I’m currently wading through the mud finding it hard to stay standing.

I joined here yesterday to find someone who understands what I’m feeling, someone who I won’t be afraid of upsetting or making feel awkward by talking about my mums death.

Try not to be too hard on yourself in regards to your studies, they will still be there when your feeling able to face them.

Please reach out if you would like to talk. I won’t pretend to have the answers but I will understand and I’d love to hear about your mum xx

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