After two weeks of what felt like absolulute hopelessness,anxiety,hysterics,anger, I have had two days of something else,not exactly peace or calm but something. Some kind of acceptance I think.Not that my husbands not here,never will accept that but of my situation and where I am now.
I cannot change it ,no matter how much I plead,beg,cry so I need accept ,this is it.Of all the platitudes you and other people tell you,some that make you mad,some just plain odd,Im going with one day at a time.
I will try not to think of the future too much,hopefully it will work out but I cant make everything happen or be ok instantly.Changing my life of 55years into something else, in weeks is not going to happen. It takes time and effort.
Soā¦. Hopefully I can channel some of my husbands positivity and love of life.
I doing it for you Steve x
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Good positive vibes Woody well done. We need to celebrate the little successes on here as well as talk about the darker moments.
Grief is like a polygraph, itās up and down. When itās up, take some solace in that and give thanks. Reading a lot of the posts on here its all down at the moment.
I myself have had an alright week. I steered clear of alcohol which helped. The weather was nice and sunny. I dealt with things matter of fact.
Who knows what next week might bring. I suppose just continue to live in the day and acknowledge that itās normal that some days will be good and some will be bad.
Good for you to share your positive feeling itās important.
Daniel
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Thank you Daniel.
I thought āthatā day was the worst day of my life but it wasnt,it was just the beginning. Last week I think I hit rock bottom,I didnt like it and Im not staying there. Its not going to be easy,there will be set backs but I am not living in that black hole.
Sending you my best,hope you have some peace.
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Hi, I have a mantra which I repeat to myself all day and night. Its "be more Norman", he s always been so strong mentally and physically. I have been cutting back more overgrown shrubs today. Neighbours say why dont you get a gardener to do it, but my Norm always did it himself, Im sure hes looking down on me saying "good for you, girl". I hope so anyway, I cut through the electric cord whilst hedge strimming, but Norm used to do that himself so thats ok. I called on a neighbour, who fixed it for me.
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I love the āBe more Normanā sentiment. I must tell myself to āBe more Charlieā. He was just so positive and always had far more confidence in me than I ever had in myself. He believed in me.
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Hi Helen.
That is what I say to myself ābe more Steveā!!! Whenever I want to give up I repeat it. He was so up beat and believed in positive thinking,he tried to train me. It keeps me going.
I loved that youre the same. No wonder we loved these lovely men. Even now they are looking out for us
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I read somewhere that if you keep repeating the same story in your brain, ie: Ill never get over my loved one", that eventually the brain neurons forge in that you have repeated the story in your head so much that it actually becomes a reality. A bit like learning a new language, if you repeat it long enough in your head you eventually store it as permanent in your brain. Having wrote this, Im now crying non stop so maybe Im talking rubbish, just looking at the sky and talking to my Norm, but hes so strong he`ll get me through this. Wishing you some peace tonight. xxx
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Good night Helen, I like the " Be more Norman" I think think itās great.
Wishing you a good nightās sleep
All the best
Tom
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