New here and hurting.

Hello everyone.
I lost my partner suddenly on 23rd June 2022. He was in hospital for 5weeks and I was unable to see him all that time and then he past suddenly. The guilt I have not being there is tearing me apart as well as the grieving process. We had been together for just 12 years but 8 of them I was his carer as he developed some serious conditions. I feel so empty without him. Miss his humour the banter we had . People around you all say let me know if you need anything but you never hear from them … the one thing you need you can’t have. On top of the grieving I now have no income because I was his carer and the home we are in is rented and his benefit paid for it so I will now lose my home. It feels like I can’t grieve as I have to concentrate on finding work then trying to find a home. My family don’t live near by and to be honest I feel more like an acquaintance than family and his family are amazing but again live far away and they are elderly . He wanted to marry me when he left the hospital but never got the chance. I am so broken

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Dear @Muffin42, welcome to the community. When it comes to the grief of losing a partner, it’s safe to say we know what you are going through. To have to find a job and a new home during this very early period must be so hard for you, and I can’t begin to imagine the stress this adding. As a community we are are definitely here for you, if only virtually.

Andrew

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Hi @Muffin42 sorry for your loss and really sorry to hear about your other problems. I can’t begin to imagine how your feeling with what’s happened and that on top of it. Please keep posting so we know your ok. I hope things work out for you.

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@Muffin42
So very sorry for what your going through, i was my mams carer for 3 years lost her 6weeks ago, sadly I was away when it happened so i wasn’t with her and it torments me every minute. I always thought I’d be with her to the very end, it tears me apart. Every morning I wake up and my heart sinks thinking another day to get through without my best friend.
I hope you can get help with your financial side that’s so cruel that you have to go through all that aswell.
Sending big hugs

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Dear Muffin,
I’m so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself in this situation.
You story has a lot of similarities to mine.
Pete and I had only been together 5 years, we had just bought a house and we’re planning on getting married when he passed away in November 2021 very suddenly and unexpectedly at 59.
Now his children own his part of our home, and I can’t afford to buy somewhere on my own.
Pete collapsed and died on the road on the side of the road, so I had no chance to say goodbye.
My family are over 100 miles away, his Mum,Dad and sister are close by, they have been great but his parents are very elderly and frail and are also finding it hard to cope with the death of their youngest son.
I am completely heartbroken, I have a part time job which I’ve just returned to.
I wish I could say it gets easier but I’m still finding it very difficult, the way I cope is by thinking what Pete would want for me and I know he would not want his passing to destroy me so I’m determined to try my best to carry on.
Please feel free to pm me if you want to chat more.
Sending hugs
Muldool

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Oh bless you I’m so sorry for your loss I can’t imagine what it feels like to loose your partner but I lost my youngest daughter Leah to breast and liver cancer this January I’m broken to all I can do is send you my love and I hope you keep talking to these people in this group they atr so lovely and helpful XX :heavy_heart_exclamation::two_hearts:

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