New here. Heartbroken.

Hello fellow sufferers. I lost my husband two months ago. And, as someone else said, it’s just shit. And I still can’t quite believe it. This week has been particularly bad.
Some people, including my doctor, seem to think I should be getting on and getting over. But we were 36 years together: 3 sons and 5 grandchildren. Most importantly, we still loved each other - not staying together just because….
The comments I’ve read help me to see that I’m not unusual in being lost at the moment.
Sympathies to everyone in my boat.


Two months isn’t long at all as far as grief is concerned in fact. I would say it’s early days for you. I can’t understand your Doctors logic at all. To me that seems illogical. Welcome to the forum at least you won’t be judged here.

If your doctor hasn’t been through grief like this he will NEVER understand it.

Take comfort that all the feelings are normal, they hurt but in time will ease but never leave you .

My Mandy died under 2 months ago 31st May to be exact , I thought I was coming through the worst then wham on Wednesday it hit me very hard .

These are the most true words spoken often, never forget them……

A day at a time and be kind to yourself , they are so right .

Dear ClaireSC

I am so sorry that your husband has died. Two months is such a short time and for people to say that you should be ‘getting on’ is unbelieveable imo. I am five months in after fifty years together and finding it really difficult. As everyone says take one day at a time.

Take care.x

Oh my dear, two months is only a very short time after so many years together. Of course you’re still grieving and for anyone to suggest that you should move on so early clearly doesn’t understand this kind of pain. It may take months, maybe even years to start feeling better. I lost my love 9 months ago and I still miss him so much. I do feel a little better every day but a song, a place that I will drive by, a favorite program on TV (he loved Stranger Things and I watched the whole new season thinking, Paul would have loved these episodes so much!) will bring him right back to me. And I’ll start grieving once again.
Please take care. I know you’re in pain. Each day will be hard but each day will also get a tiny bit better. :heart:‍:adhesive_bandage:

Thank you all for your replies. I had a bit of a meltdown from Wednesday last week. I’d called for coffee at our best friends for over 30 years. From our children being babies to having babies of their own, we’ve done everything together: holidays, every New Year, almost every weekend… One of those incredibly fortunate friendships that extended four ways and not just the husbands tagging along because their wives get on.
I realised that, much as they love me, that relationship is also irrevocably changed. It’s no one’s fault but it’s another loss I have to come to terms with. That’s when I came looking for a forum, because I don’t want to be blubbering all over people.
My boys and their partners have been wonderful, but I don’t want to keep upsetting them when they’re coping with jobs and their own children. My ex husband (38 years ago but still in touch) managed to make me laugh a bit. It helped because he is distanced from the misery of losing my husband. Also, he’s a loon.
Tomorrow is a new week, and I might try to sleep in our bed for the first time. It was freshly made up for him coming home from hospital, but then he didn’t. The sofa isn’t doing my back any good.
Sorry for the lengthy post. It seems to help, writing it.

Hi Claire SC, sorry for the late posting of this reply and for your massive loss.

2 years ago I lost my husband of 42 years and believe me 2 months grieving is no time at all. You will still be sorting the financial issues and everything out.

There is all his personal clothes and items to sort through and all the lovely memories of them all and learning to face this world as “I” and not “we”. Learning to do everything without him is difficult. When things go wrong in the home or with your family, there is no soul mate to talk to.

It is a long slow process, tears come when least expected and we never get over it but we do accept it. Very slowly we get more confident being alone and have more good days than bad. Family and friends surprise you and slowly you start to feel better.

Keep going and posting on here. There will still be bad days but very slowly you will start and cope better. Memories will make you laugh as well as cry.

I hope this helps you. X

Hi Claire, So sorry for your loss and you having to join the club that none of us wanted to join, but you will find it so helpful as you go through the journey of Grieving, I totally understand the pain you are going through, I am 6 months down the line since losing my beautiful wife Hilary suddenly back in January, some days I have to take it Hour by Hour as that’s how by mood can change, I have times when I bang the worktops and the walls in anger and then I have days when I am quite calm and think its all looking better, and then out the blue it all comes bouncing back and smacks me in the face and i am back to square one again, everyone’s way of grieving is different but unless you have gone through it people don’t understand, so reach out on this forum as much as you want to as they wont judge you and they defiantly understand you. Take care Mickere x

Hi my luv I can’t imagine loosing my other half I’d be devastated but I lost my daughter 7 months ago due to breast and liver cancer she was 25 so I’m struggling so much as you are but just a bit different my world fell apart loosing her as yours must be loosing your soulmate I can only send you my love and hope you get a bit of comfort from these lovely people on here xxx