New member

Losing a parent
1

This place was recommended to me. A safe place to share my loss .
Dad was a big part of my life and his passing was traumatic. I miss him.
I feel so sad and very alone

2

Hi @VC1,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your dad that brings you here. It’s brave to share your feelings, and I really hope you find the community to be a safe space for you, too.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief

  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Seaneen

3

I’m so sorry for your loss. I think it’s particularly difficult when you’ve been caring for someone, as you spend so much time together.
You will feel the need to stay strong for your mum, as I did. But coming on here and talking about your feelings will help. Someone will always give you advice or sympathy, so you won’t feel alone.
Take care

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4

It’s pain on a new level isn’t it! I lost my dad to cancer Jan 2024. I still pick up my phone thinking I should ring him before I remember I can’t. I find some days very hard and theres the sense that I should be through the worst of grief now but I’m not.

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5

Thank you for your replies.

I feel overwhelming sadness .
Its affected my whole being.
Prior to losing Dad , l nursed my dog for 7 months through cancer it was hard to lose her . I seem to have been on a roller coaster ride , a never ending cycle of caring and loss.
I care full time for mum now she has mental and physical health conditions. I moved in (unplanned) after dad passed as mum couldn’t cope leaving behind my own home thats stands neglected and unloved.
I just dont seem to have the energy to do anything else after caring for mum, each day becomes harder as her mental health declines, her angry outbursts increase.
I have no support from family who have all distanced themselves from mum leaving me to cope with everything.
I am exhausted and worried about the huge mountain l have to face with mum and trying to get my own life back on track
I miss Dad, l miss my independence, my own space and l worry how l will cope with mum as she continues to decline.

6

Big hugs to you, my mum died last week and I hear you, it’s overwhelming. We are all here to listen x

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7

Personally I think you need to look at options for your mum’s future. Do you have a Power of Attorney in place? If your mum has declining dementia then she needs specialist help. It will take a lot of your time and energy but if I were you I would start looking for help, ring your social services tell them the situation and hopefully they can take some of the pressure off you.

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8

Thinking of you
Take care of yourself, grief is a very personal experience. You are not alone

9

Thank you , you are so kind
Take care