New member

Hi, I’ve just joined and wanted to introduce myself a bit. My husband died in December 2020. He was diagnosed with non Hodgkins follicular lymphoma back in 2008 and had several relapses, the last being in Feb 2019 when we were told it was terminal. The hospital managed to find a trial chemo for him which wasn’t a cure, it would just give us some more time. He was admitted to hospital a week before he died with an infection in his intestines which basically shut his whole digestive system down. He was responding really well to treatment and we were planning on him coming home except he had a heart attack. Completely out of the blue. Turns out he had undiagnosed heart disease and suffered a massive heart attack whilst he was on the cardiac ward. Not even the specialists could save him. So instead of getting a call saying he was ready to come home, I got a call saying he’d gone. I’ve spent the last year on a complete blur. It’s only now that it’s really hit me and I feel so broken and don’t know how to help myself. I’ve carried on over the past year for our daughter’s sake. She’s just gone 7 and I’ve tried do heard to keep her normal routine. School have been brilliant and have done loads of bereavement work with her which has been an absolute godsend. I just need to concentrate on me now but don’t know where to start. I’m already on anti depressants and on the waiting list for bereavement counseling with the local hospice but what else is relevant? I feel like I need more but I don’t know what xx

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Hello Susan, how sad is your post, my husband also had a form of lymphoma and we didn’t have long to process the idea of what was to come. I am pleased you are getting counselling which seems a little late but it will help and some hospices do more sessions then Cruse, if they offer more go for as many as you can get.
Being on this community will also help because you feel you are not the only one dealing with the emotions and trauma of grief.
There are lots of books but what is suitable for me may not be for you, your local library will have some as well as the internet.
Local groups like ‘living with loss’ or me only are two local spines for me so ask around or even Facebook you may find advert’s.
Grief is not easy and coming to terms with your loss takes time and energy which you may feel is in short supply. Always remember we are here for you. Hope this information may help, the other thing to try is just local groups, like walking or yoga anything to help you get some structure into your new life and help you meet people. Take care of yourself and your little girl, give her a big hug from me. Sxx

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Hello Susan, I am truly sorry for your loss and also for your daughter’s loss of her daddy. I hope you can find some comfort from this forum where you will find lots of understanding. Sue Ryder also offer a free counselling service which may be of help to you. Sending love and hugs.

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Oh so sorry Susan,welcome to this site,we are all your friends on here ,you will never be alone as you can talk to any of us any time. We are all on the same terrible journey.Suffering the same pain everyday. Much Love Michael x

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So sorry Susan we all look after each other on this site if you need to talk we’re here for each other they are good people take care lv annie x x

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Hi Susan,
I am sorry for your loss, every member here has lost someone they loved dearly and you are not alone. We are all here to help each other by sharing our stories. You have shared your story that has helped me to know I am not alone in my grief. Keep talking, we can all help each other x

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Hi Susan just seen your post, so sorry for you and your little girl. I lost my husband to cancer in December just gone . I went on this site because I was so desperate to talk to people who would understand how I felt. Instead of having to keep tell everyone ‘I’m fine’ I can just pour my heart out. Welcome to the site. We are all here for each other. Take care Susan.
Love Kathy

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Morning yes we are all here for the same reason,we are suffering grief and pain,so let it all out ,we will listen.I would never have survived without this site.I lost my lovely wife Judith to cancer last September.20 weeks ago now . Love Michael x