New mum and loosing mum

My mum passed away 4 months ago to pancreatic cancer we got the diagnosis and 3 weeks later she passed away which is hard enough but I am a new mum and struggle to work out how to grieve for her with a 9 month old who needs me. I have seen diary books you can buy to write things down has anyone done this or does anyone have any advice
Thank you for reading xx


Hi there. Sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my mum 3 months ago. I don’t journal but I’ve heard it can help. Perhaps when your little one is sleeping, you could journal. Just write in there (as if you are talking to her, telling her everything about your day or how you miss her). I don’t know if you’ve read any books on grief, but I’ve borrowed a few from the library and find they help. I’ve also read it’s a good idea to create a space where you can keep some of your mum’s things (photos of her, a few special things), like perhaps on a sideboard or chest of drawers, and spend some time chatting to her and telling her how you are feeling. It’s good to get it out of your system and if you can have a good cry, it releases a lot of tension. Always have a book to read before bed. Do you have your mum’s ashes, or was she buried where you can visit the cemetery and spend some time with your loved one there? Hugs to you. It is so hard. One day at a time. xx

@youareunbelievable hi do you recommend any books ? Xx

Hi Janey, I’m sorry to hear of your loss. Your post struck a chord to me as I have a little baby who is 9 months old and lost my mum when she was five months old. Such a horrendous thing to deal with when we are meant to be having the happiest time with our little ones and our mums can’t see them grow up. So bloody painful isn’t it.
I’m seeing a counsellor, I’ve seen a medium and mum came through so this gave me comfort. I’ve also listened to podcasts and am trying to start running to get the anger out of my system xx

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@BrackObama hi , can I ask what pod casts please ? Hope you are doing ok. People ask me if I am ok and I want to scream “of course I’m not ! So not sure why i said that !

@Laura8 I get asked that…funnily enough when a friend asks me on text how I am and I tell them the truth, they either don’t reply or don’t acknowledge that part of the message!! Maybe they shouldn’t ask then!
A pod cast is a recorded audio show, which usually covers a specific topic. My counsellor told me about this one, various celebs talk about their experiences of losing a loved one. Here is the link: Griefcast — Cariad Lloyd

@BrackObama very good point ! And not replying … I think some people have no clue what to say !
I do listen to podcasts . I have heard of the Griefcast too so I will give it a listen . Maybe it will provide some comfort knowing others know how this feels does help. It’s so isolating .
I need to get into some kind of normality at some point. - I only lost my Dad 4 weeks ago very suddenly but I feel worse each week and such sadness .
I do have a young son who takes my mind off things - I know you have a young baby - it’s so difficult all this .

Thanks for the information. I’m here if you want to talk anytime .

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