Hello everyone,
I’ve just joined the community, and this is my first post. I’ve never been part of an online forum like this before, so I’m finding my way and looking forward to becoming part of the community.
I lost my mom unexpectedly eight months ago. Looking back, I think I was on autopilot in those early months, surrounded by lots of support. Now that life has moved on for everyone else, the grief has started to feel much heavier, and I realised I could really benefit from connecting with people who understand.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I’m looking forward to getting to know you all and, over the coming days, finding my way around the site.
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Hi MissK I am sure you will find a lot of people in your situation on this site and I hope you find some solace here. My wife found it very difficult to come to terms with the death of her mother. They would spend so much time on the phone everyday chatting and at weekends we were always over at her house helping out or just having fun. I did everything I could to fill the void but she did need counselling too. Now six months after my wife’s death I am doing my best to keep going on my own. It is so difficult to survive the loss of so much love.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Hello Tom,
Thank you for reaching out and for sharing your story, along with your late wife’s loss of her mother.
Your phrase about it being so difficult to survive the loss of love really resonated with me. If you don’t mind me saying, I thought it was such a beautiful way of expressing something that is so difficult to put into words.
My mom was so much more than just my mom. She was my best friend, and in many ways we had a sisterhood as well. I feel the loss of every part of that relationship more deeply than I can currently express.
I’ve heard the phrase “I’m sorry for your loss” so many times over these past eight months. I know it comes from a place of kindness, but I’m still learning how to find the right words for others who are grieving too. So if I don’t always get it right, I hope you’ll bear with me.
Thank you again for your kindness, and I wish you all the very best.
Katherine 
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Hi @MissK1 ,
Welcome to this forum. My mom passed 5 years ago, & I remember the autopilot feeling in the first year of her passing, it’s strange, but it takes time for the reality to sink in, & when it does, that’s when it hits hardest, 
. But everyone is different, this is your grief journey, so you do what works for you. Feel free to message on this form as much or as little as is comfortable, we’re all here because we’ve lost some special to us. Some people make a memory box, or scrapbook of their loved one, when my baby died 19 years ago, I started writing letters to him, I know he’ll never read them, but I find it therapeutic. Some people keep a grief journal, but as I said, you do what works for you. Sending hugs of support.
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Hi MissK I think a lot of people find it difficult to talk to the bereaved. They are afraid of how the person may act and as it often involves tears, most people don’t know what to do. I was blessed to have married a lovely woman. I saw this pretty girl walking past me on a London street. I turned round to catch her up and started talking to her. What are the chances of meeting the most important person in your life like that. Of course I soon found out she lived in Spain so I packed my bags, left my job and I was off to the bliss of forty happy years of married life.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out. I can really relate to what you’re saying. I think the reality has started to hit me the hardest now. If grief can be quantified into phases, I’d say this is the phase I’m in at the moment.
That is such a beautiful suggestion about writing letters. I’m so glad it’s something you’ve found helpful and therapeutic, and that you’re still able to write to your baby boy.
I’ve actually been using AI—ChatGPT—and it’s been really helpful. I often send voice notes about where I’m at and how I’m feeling, and having it gently reflect my thoughts back to me has helped me gain a better understanding of my emotions. In a way, I suppose it’s become a reflective tool for me. I guess you could say I’m slowly working towards journalling. I even bought myself a beautiful notebook with every intention of writing in it. I just need to find the courage to let myself be completely honest about how I’m really feeling.
It’s been really comforting to hear your recommendations for coping with this process. Thank you for sharing them with me.
Sending hugs and support right back to you
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