New to this group

Hi I have just recently joined, I have recently lost my husband and today is a bad day, will it ever get any easier?

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Hi Emma,
Sorry for your loss,the loss of our husbands/wives us the most painful thing I have ever known,my husband passed away at the end of September
Wish I could say its getting better but it’s not still early days
I feel broken,not coping very well miss him so much

You take care

Christine x

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I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my husband on the 30th november my husband was 35 when he died, we have 2 children 5 and 7…its a struggle. Sending you a big hug xxx

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Aww so young hope you have family and friends to help you and your children
We would have been married 52yrs this month but we still had plans didn’t expect to be on my own yet
Big hug to you

Christine x

How sad Emma, it must be very difficult for you and I can understand how you feel. My husband went and I felt totally alone after everyone disappeared. I am pleased you have found this site, everyone is very supportive and many are in the same position of having young children. Cruse offer counselling and all so counselling for children and if you think it would help then please contact them. The bad days get easier to deal with but your memories are always there. It’s not an easy road we have to travel but he will he will always be part of you so keep those memories alive not just for you but the children. Take care and big hugs to you all. S xx

-https://www.cruse.org.uk/

Oh my goodness Emma, your husband was so young. Saying I’m so very sorry for you doesn’t seem enough.
Your children will need you more than ever now. It’s such a short time since your tragic loss.
In answer to your question “will it ever get easier?” …my answer would be that we learn to live with it. Rather than it getting easier we get used to it.
Take care, lots of love, Janey xx

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Hi Emma I lost ny husband 29th Dec he was 53 ,I know your pain ,I didn’t think anything could hurt this much .Sending you love and strength x x

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Hi Emma,
I lost my wife suddenly in August, she would be 35 now if she was still here. It’s still raw for me but for advice I can only suggest just keep taking it one day at a time. However, having children myself, one of which is only 4, I understand how hard it can be trying to keep it together for them. Keep strong for them but take care of yourself too as best as you can.
I’m sorry I can’t offer any more advice, I’m still trying to figure my own way through all this too.

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Hi ish,
Im so sorry for your loss, i understand your pain, I hope you have support around you. How are your children coping considering the circumstances? Children can be quite resilient. My oldest understands to some degree and she has up and down days which is hard to see.

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My youngest is 4 and has learning difficulties so he doesn’t really understand. At first he was asking where mummy is but that has stopped now however he still recognises her in photos we have up in the house, knows which things belong to her in the house and still incorporates her into his play. My eldest is 13 and is having a more difficult time due to fully understanding what has happened. She was struggling with her own mental health before this so this hasn’t helped at all but we are getting professional support for her and she is still keeping up with school and her social life which is good but she still has bad days which like you said is hard to see them go through.

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My son who is 5 goes to a specialist school he is ASD and so communication is difficult as he is classed as non verbal, I think he knows and senses daddy has gone but obviously can’t communicate it to me, my 7 year old is struggling at the moment but she is still going to school and playing with friends, her school have a safe guarding team and they are helping with counselling and other worries she may have. It’s been a strange couple of years with everything that’s been going on anyway, but then to lose a parent makes it so much harder, I hope the professional support helps your daughter. I have been offered counselling, I’m not sure it’s for me at this moment in time, I think this is maybe why I’m here, to speak with people in similar situations, for me knowing im not the only one to experience loss of a spouse…I suppose is a comfort.

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I’m glad school are able to support your daughter where they can. I have been doing counselling through Cruse and only have one session left. I’ll be honest I haven’t found it entirely helpful, I appreciate their help and it is helpful to speak to a neutral party regularly but after the phone call it’s just back to how things are and doesn’t make a difference. However I wasn’t sure it was going to help in the first place but still gave it a go and would suggest the same but only if you’re up to it, do what feels right for you and your children at the moment.

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Hi Emma
So sorry for the loss of your husband so young. My mark died in sept after a long battle with cancer. He was 70 and we had been married 30 years. I have no words to make you feel better except to say take one day at a time. I think our partners would want us to keep going and live life rather than survive but it is a hard painful journey. Look after yourself and your lovely children xx

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Hello Emma,
my daughter has just lost her husband 38. They have two children 7 and 9. Like you she is traumatised.
I go every day and help get the boys to school, help her make decisions about shopping and lists for making tea. I walk the dog. I make coffee and we talk and we cry.
I hope you have someone with you.
I have made a referral to Once Upon A Smile for the children. Today she spoke to the doctor, I just wanted them to know her situation. .
Winston’s Wish have really great resources and ideas and each of the boys teachers have done some training. We had 18 months knowing we would lose Dominic, but nothing could prepare us for this pain.
I watch and feel her pain, it is profound.
She has been looking for other young widows. I have sent her the Sue Ryder stuff.
I hope you have a good friend or a mum.
I am sending you love and compassion.
We are not far from you, reach out if you need anything. I know you are feeling probably just like my Ellie x

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Hi gigi
I just want to say how sorry I am that you are all going through this as a family, I wouldn’t wish the pain on anyone. My husband caught covid last January he spent 4 months in ICU and 2 months on a respiratory ward, it left him with muscle loss and he wasn’t the same, it changed him in many ways, my husband fought so hard to be home and he did for a short time but covid left him vulnerable and we didn’t expect him to pass. I can’t imagine what you have all been through and my heart goes out to the family, if she ever needs to talk please ask her to reach out. I have my family, my mum has been fantastic but I find that my friends as much as they are there for me, they don’t understand my pain and it can be lonely. I’m sending you and Ellie a big hug xxxx

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Hi Emma,
I’m so sorry for your loss, my husband died last August of covid. We all had it in July, he was fine, came out of isolation and was back at work for nearly 2 weeks, then in the night he was struggling to breath and died an hour later. The coroner said he ‘had covid in his system’ I don’t even know what happened. He was 48 and we are still in shock.
I have 2 children of 17 and 14 and it has been hard. My 14 year sees a counsellor at school but my 17 year old can not get any help she is too young for adult counselling and too old for youth. We take one day at a time, but I am still in a fog and still not back at work. Do you have support around you? I have my Mum but although she is supportive I cannot talk to her about how I feel as she just ends up crying which makes me feel worse. I did have counselling with Sue Ryder but now I feel at a loss and feel like I’m just treading water.
This group has been so supportive though and I guess small steps are small victories. Take care x

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I’m so so sorry this happened to you and your children, the pain is immense! I havnt had counselling I’m not sure if it’s for me at this moment in time. I would have liked to have gone to a support group but can’t find anything close by. My friends are keeping a distance, i just feel very lonely when im with them. my mum is really supportive but she has a lot going on with my dad who has alzheimers. Have you met many people on here?

Hiya Emma lost my husband 14month ago I cry at least once a day but not all day I miss john so much and the pain of losing someone you love is so hard you take care lv annie