New year and still struggling πŸ˜‘

Its been over a year now and i just cannot seem to move and further forward! Its a new year and im still set back over a year ago unsure which way to turn.
Some days i feel like i am on top of everything and feel like im really happy and that i can do this. Other days i just cant seem to function my brain is set on one thing which is wanting my partner back :pensive:
I really just want to be happy i dont want to feel sad anymore i dont want to feel lonely or to the point that i cant cope!
I try to have things to remember him from like a ring with his ashes in a necklace with his name on. I have gifts he brought me and nothing seems to make me feel any closer to him.
He really was my true soal mate and i never ever realised how much i loved him until now when hes not here for me to tell :cry:

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My husband died 20 weeks ago and like you i didn’t realise just how much I loved him and i wish he was here to tell. He fitted me like a glove and now i am completely lost and live feels desolate without him.

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I feel such a sense of relief now that Xmas and new year is over, it’s really unsettled me the sentiment, memories feeling more alone than ever, I feel the same it’s all so confusing and I feel worse now at seventeen months, I am so scared of forgetting and that any closeness we felt is gradually being eroded away by time, what is me moving forward ? surely leaving him behind but I don’t want to do that either so I’m stuck in limbo not knowing what to do just feeling desperately sad and adrift, I’m preferring my own company as I don’t have to pretend and trying to sort some order in my life, plodding along, it helps to know I’m not alone in feeling like this, thoughts to everyone on this sad road x

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i feel for you i only lost my wife three months ago and i feel i am in a daze.every time i look at a photo i start crying.i just hope it does not last a year cos i feel i have to get a grip of my feelings

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I lost my Husband in 20th oct 2022 and find every day things hard to do i miss him so much he was a big part of my life i cry at silly little things like a song that comes on or if i am watching tv and something we watched together is on

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I feel exactly the same your words touched me.
It is 5 months since my husband died
He was a pain in the neck ! Married 32 yrs
I miss him so much

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It is 3 months since my husband died and i miss him more every day we was married 19 years

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Snd it always seems like its been forever! Time jusy doesnt seem to move forward. Just stays still!

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But he wss your pain in the neck!
Just feel like things never seem to get any easier. Just days seem longer snd more lonely.

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