New yr without you

Hi
Im new
Been in a state last 5 months.
Lost dad and simply am not coping.
Leaving 2022 was hard cuz thats last time we were together, i’ll never have him in 2023.
Im so brutally alone exvept for kids. Very isolated.
Not coping and not getting any easier.

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Hello @Katwhel - I am so sorry about your Dad - that is really tough, really hard and really sad. I feel the same about 2022 - my husband Tom died in January 2022, so leaving the year was weird for me, too. You wrote that you will not have your Dad in 2023 but you have him in your heart, always. His advice and his love for you will keep going, even if you can’t see him. I found it helped to have grief counselling - Sue Ryder offers that and there are other places where you can find people who understand and who can be there for you, so you don’t feel so alone. Have a look at the Good Grief Trust - loads of resources on there. If you have children - are there any social activities they do that you could join to meet other parents? Saturday football or swimming club, or something like that? Just to get you out of the house and into company - it makes such a difference, I have found. You have a new network of support on here, my friend so if you feel down or in need of a vent or some advice - to give or to receive - you know your friends are here. For now, it is the start of a new year and one where I reckon your Dad would want you to move forward with your life and to take steps towards smiling again. I know it is hard and so easy to say or to write, rather than to do, but hour by hour, day by day, things will get that little bit better. Hold tight, and take care x

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He speht his life expecting to die at anytime due to congenital issues. This made him see every day as precious, life was an adventure.
So i know the last thing he’d want is grief. He’d hate that suffering over him.
I wajt to honour him by living life like him but i cant. Im absolutely devastated without him. Ironically i need him to help me through losing him!
Kids are teens. Dad made me move. He died 13 days before i moved in and went through with it for him. But it means im in a new place alone. Lost my husband 2019 and im weirdly now grieving the 2 of them but dad more. Nothing compares to him.
Ive tried joining a local group but im so consumed with grief and misery im not exactly good company when trying to establish new connections so withdrew.
Im so exausted all the time, i have zero energy for anything.
How do i access counseling?

You have been through so much and it is still so soon after he died. You don’t have to live to any sort of ideal, you just need to get through each day - and that is hard, I know. Have a look on this website for counselling offers and on the Good Grief Trust site as well. Contact them and see what they can do to support you. You may find local groups of people who have been through this, who may meet up in person or online. There is a lot of support out there and everyone you encounter will understand how rubbish and down you feel. Your friends are here for you, so have a look around at what is on offer, and when you are ready, make a start - even if it is a simple enquiry. Sending you loads of love, @Katwhel x

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I lost my mum in September. I feel like I’m leaving her behind by starting the new year without her. I was so determined to have a good Christmas for the kids I never considered how I’d feel now. I thought I was doing ok but now I just feel like I’m struggling again. I’ve just signed up for the text counselling. Hope it helps. Hope you find the support you need too x

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