Ohhh I’ll need to think long and hard.
I think the problem is, I want it to be how I want it 
like life but without the stress. Deffo want hugs and kisses. I’d just like to float round with him for eternity. Stresses me out when they mention working from the other side to help those in life. I want a bloody rest!
That’s how I’d like it to be. I’ve always been more spiritual. I believe in a higher power, I suppose that is my god. I’ve always thought of god as a light. I’ve never believed in a really judgemental god either, as long as you’re kind of heart that should be enough.
@Kat1984 Same here; I honestly believe we are spiritual beings, this life on this planet is just a learning curve! I so believe my Martin is waiting for me & I just need to learn a few more lessons before I join him.
I hold until this thought, otherwise, there is no point…
Big hugs
Dottie x🌹
I can’t help but think " what’s the point? Why do we have to go through all this here?" It seems so pointless to us. As you say, maybe when we leave here all will become clear.
I too need to believe I’ll see my husband again otherwise I’d crack up. That’s the only thing that keeps me going. Not sure how atheists cope.
@Kat1984 Same here. I never imagined my life would turn out this way, all our plans gone in the click of a finger! I don’t understand what “lesson” this is teaching me? I’m broken, mentally, spiritually and physically! I hope and pray that I can recover (a bit) …
I just live in hope that some day, maybe it will all make sense!
For those who don’t believe in anything, well, I’ve know a few who swiftly changed their minds on losing a loved one…
Big hugs
Dottie x🌹
I have thought about moving I think it is all too soon as they say dint do anything rash . M
It’s hard as this was ‘ours’ and I always want it to be but then I think about moving where nobody knows me so won’t get the questions etc but then I’d miss where I am now it’s all so bloody draining 
xxxxxx
Yeh @PollyjaneW i feel same ! Im sick of the questions … how are you ? SIck of being the “widow” what a horrible name ;( and like you i feel my husband is still here in this house but then i really feel part of me wants to get away and start afresh somewhere else … so people dont know me as the “widow” 
xx it is draining ! All of it is draining xxx also i live in a village and theyre all such gossips and watch your every move … thats draining too !! Its all a bit of a shambles isn’t it ? I feel like someone has thrown a grenade into my life !
I completely relate to this.
I push myself to do holidays that we did before and outside fire pits and barbecue’s, with my family, I sometimes, lately, have a nice time while we’re doing them, then when people go home I seem to feel the sadness and loneliness more, then I can’t sleep. It’s 7 months on and I’ll never be the same.
Same time as me then, I’m hoping as the years go by, it will get easier but I don’t think it will.
Thanks that is a lovely idea. I watched some videos on my phone last night of my husband with my 4 year old. I just don’t want her to forget him.
Everything is just tinged with sadness. You’re right though. I will have to go on, we are left no other choice. It is so hard at times.
Xx
Yes totally agree. I HATE that word ( widow) too.
You are so right with the grenade too, that’s exactly how it feels .
Top & bottom of it , I just don’t want a life without Bry in it
I feel like we are all just living in ongoing nightmare xxx
I know . I had family & a friend here Saturday & had a few drinks outside. Sunday came and the guilt I felt because Saturday night was quite nice was horrendous. We cannot win xxx
I know and people just don’t understand do they ? Thet moan about their problems but they dunno their born cos at least their husband is still here ! X
Yep we would love to moan about other things wouldnt we ? I find it really annoying tbh. If only i could moan about my husband still cos he did something wrong . Id give anything for those days back People are just really insensitive. X i was trying to explain to my friend about the finality of it all as she having problems with her husband … he used to play for leeds united and hes got dementia ( only 62) and i said to her you know the finality of him not being here ever again is so much worse i dont think she got it sadly - but we all do dont we xxx
We sure do.
Bry lost his Dad young to cancer & he used to say he would have him back in a wheelchair or anyway if he was just back . I used to say ‘ I get you , but that would be selfish as it would be for you , not your dad ‘ NOW, I totally get it . I would happily look after Bry 24/7 just to have him here , not sure he would like that though xxx
Yeh so did my husband - he lost his dad and it really upset him too ! And yeh i agree not sure how my husband would’ve gone on either like that - but we cling to their lives dont we ? Hoping they willl never leave us … xxx
Good morning everyone.
Just sending love and hugs to you all as we all start another day without our soulmates.
Been out for a long walk with our two boys (the dogs!) And now have to go to work.
The days just getting harder and harder, and things like work which was helping save me, now increasingly difficult.
9 months tomorrow for me:disappointed_relieved:
Big hugs to all my kindred spirits 
disappointed_relieved - no idea where that came from…i was typing the crying face 
Good morning.I hope you’re day goes well.Take care Derek.