Night time

Here I am laying in bed all alone i feel utterly drained and exhausted,day three of not cooking just cannot face any food and the thoughts of cooking just make me feel sick,meal times were our highlight I would always cook something good and we would share a glass of wine or two! We always made it special ,now nothing what’s the point my heart aches for my little man how am I ever going to live without him.

I am so sorry Bunuss…there aren’t any words that really help in the early days but somehow we all manage to reach firmer ground in our own time. Try to eat something (I survived on Weetabix for quite a long time!) and just concentrate on getting through each hour…baby steps, deep breaths and never forget that your man will always be within your heart.
I hope you manage to get some sleep…take care x

Dear @Bunuss,
I so understand that feeling of laying in bed at night alone and drained, wishing my wife was there, hoping for sleep yet dreading waking up to start another day. Do you have any relatives, friends or immediate support network that you can turn to for help? Don’t be afraid to lean on them if you do. I depended heavily on 2 very good friends who stayed with me for a few days each in my immediate aftermath.

Please, please do try to eat or nibble on something, anything, whether it’s junk food, biscuits, chocolate bars, or something light. I was never really the cook in our house, but my wife loved cooking and has a bookcase of recipe books to remind me. For the last (almost) 11 weeks I have been living on snack type foods - toasties, pizzas, baked potatoes, beans on toast, you get the picture, nothing that requires much work, and in that time my weight has dropped from 13st 6lbs to just over 12st. As @amelie_sgran has said in her post, baby steps, tiny, tiny ones…
Please take care and try to be kind to yourself.
Alston x

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Thankyou for your kind words yes I do have family but I just can’t stand to have anyone with me my parents are very concerned for me but they just keep saying the wrong things to me So I sent them awayI I know that I was being mean but somehow they make me feel worse (if that’s possible)also have two very very good friends who I do talk to daily but I just cannot muster up energy To see them know that everyone means well but I just don’t care .i can’t even be bothered to shower ,I haven’t walked my little dog since it happened and she’s not eating properly and she just lays on me or next to me .there are so many things that need to be sorted out how I’m I going to find the energy to do so I just don’t know .

Hi smilie I know what your saying about trying to ear very small amounts but once I get something to my mouth it just will not go down I cannot even drink tea or coffee I have just been drinking water,lemonade and red wine ,I have added problem I’m a type one diabetic so it’s all playing havoc with my blood sugars and I can hear my Tony saying “come on snoop (one of our pet names for each other)You must eat something but I really really can’t it makes me sick to the bottom of my stomach .

Hi Bunuss, I am so sorry for your loss. My husband passed away in June and the one thing that has kept me going has been the fact I know he would be saying that I need to carry on. I know he wants that and would be so upset.
It is only in the last month I have started to try and eat and be aware of what to eat too.
I now read my kindle or a magazine when having food as a distraction. It helps me.
Trouble is all the memories which we are very lucky to have and friends/family who care.
It will take time for us both.

Dear @Bunuss, I am so sorry that you’re having difficulty eating food. I know what you mean, since my dad died, I stopped eating food that I enjoyed, I even created a new conversation on it, and I rarely do that.

It must be particularly difficult for you as eating food is something you did with your dear husband. That adds an extra dimension to your loss. The user @jean2 has also had difficulty eating food since her dear husband died, so you might want to talk to her.