My mums health is deteriorating fast and I’m still coping with the loss of my dad. Once my mum passes away, I’ll be the only one left it feels harder this time of year with Christmas on the way. Just an impending feeling of doom. Trying to stay positive x
Hello @Beth1989 ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you feel that it is a struggle to remain positive as you face the festive period, grieving your dad and concerned for your mum. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad and your mum’s health. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
I am so sorry to read this. No words I or anyone could write will change what you’re going through and feeling. Please just know you are not alone. I’ve lost my mum 6 weeks ago I am 31 and still have my dad I live with him now and I can only imagine how I will feel when he goes, but I do believe we reunite with our family on the other side, so I tell myself when the inevitable does happen, he’ll be back with my mum and his own mum. Please don’t isolate yourself try and get a support circle if you can, if not in your real life then on here as we all know what you are going through and talking about it can help.
I spent 7 weeks knowing my mum was on her way out and the worry and stress of it all drove me insane. I have a 1 year old too and it was so hard coping with trying to be a happy mum for her and also deal with the fact I was losing my own mother. I think the anticipatory grief was terrible and yet didn’t prepare me for the moment they told me she was gone.
I tell myself this to put it into perspective- my mum lost her mum, my dad lost his mum, both still lived on and had good lives afterward. They missed their parents but they still had many happy times together and with me after. That just gives me some hope when I think about them still managing to lead their lives without their parents being here, because if they can do it i know I will too, and I also know I will see her again someday, I have no doubt about it. So I want to live a good life to make her proud.
I know what I’ve said won’t change how you feel and the worry over waiting for a call or being told the worst has happened is unbearable. Tell her everything you want to now, I did that and it gave me some peace. I told her how much I love her, all of it and that I will miss her deeply. I asked her to wait for me wherever she goes and she agreed.
I am sorry you will have lost both parents when mum goes, do whatever you need to to get through the day. When it happens you’ll need someone to talk to so please do reach out to people in your life or on here.
I’ll be in a similar boat. My dad died 2 years ago, my uncle died last year, my 43 year old husband will die soon and my 87 year old mum has heart failure and probably won’t be around that much longer. I have 2 brothers who I won’t speak to again once my mum goes. I do have two boys 13 and 15 but it will just be us soon