I know …i was married for 35 years ! So hard not seeing their faces or hearing their voice … its still very early days for you … be patient with yourself. Cry if you need to cry ! I found that writing to him in a journal so helpful … like a love letter … telling them your news and how you feel ? Have you tried that ? Go buy a nice writing pad and write away as often as you want ! It does help x
I am 56. My partner passed on 17th August, just over three weeks ago. We were together for 14 years. I am really missing him. He was my rock. I lost my husband and father to my three children 19 years ago. He lost his life in a road accident. I was in shock for months. People say to me that it’s awful that I’ve had it happen again. The thing is, death is part of life -that is one thing we all know for sure 100 percent. When you love someone and you lose them the pain is immense. But it is a measure of your love. In time you will learn to live with the loss of your beloved wife and you will begin, little by little to enjoy life again. Know that you are not alone. Others are going through this right now and plenty have got through it and you will too. Have faith in your self. Be kind to yourself.
Really feel for you, how can you go through this all over again, stay strong and thank you for Your Caring words. X
I am so sad that there are so many of us who have been robbed of our partners . My husband was only 58 when he left me . I am at 4 months and it has been the worst days of my life . I have started work but the pain is still so raw . He must be with me as he never left me in life . My hugs to you all
My husband was only 60 … so sad isnt it ? All of us without our much loved partners x
In the early days.my aim was just to get to the end of the day.by putting one foot in front of the other & doing what l had to do & it worked.l dont look to far ahead now & l am nearly ten Months in as all any of us have is today & nobody knows whats around the corner.as this time last year we were going to Malta.although he wasnt well.he wasnt diagnosed until we came back with Pancreatic Cancer & he died in November.so none of us know.& today l believe misery is optional & today maybe our last.so its better to try & enjoy it.it changes & we change.
@Ali29 You’ve summed it up well by saying it’s like someone just switched him off. My husband was 60 , had a sudden and catastrophic heart attack in May and life as I knew it changed instantly.
I am trying not to look too far ahead but it’s a mentality I’m having to learn. I think we spend our lives planning things and looking forward to events, even every day stuff like decorating the house etc, it’s a normal thing to do. Now, looking forward is just too painful and sad and filled with uncertainty. It’s a complete change of direction of thinking and it’s taking me time to adjust, but I’m getting there
The Bike Race around Britain was in our part of the country yesterday and I went to see it and cheer them on. My husband was a cyclist and would have been so excited to see it, but I didn’t feel too sad as I really felt him with me and could imagine his reaction. A few weeks ago I wouldn’t have felt that way so that’s an improvement.
Ditto, came past our house on Saturday. My partner was a cyclist, he died while on his bike. He would have loved it and it made me sad that he didn’t get to see it.
One of our things on retirement was to follow the Tour deFrance. We were avid watcher’s and got to see it by chance in 2019 while on holiday.
Wayne, as people on here say its terrible, it feels we are all in similar situations. I lost my beautiful life to cancer 18 July 23 and im devastated. She was diagnosed 3.5 years ago,we were lucky to retire 11 years ago. We made the most of every minute, and especially the past 3.5 years. We were never apart, eberyones says we were thr perfect happy couple.
I have made online A3 photo albums of our happy times, and i have around 30 photos up in the house and 3 collage framed photos. I have one of her best dresess on a hanger in the bedroom and i sleep holding her nightdress. I speak to her all the time, I try to listen for her and I pray constantly.
I have just made a heart shape in crocuses in the lawn and planted loads of tulips for her.
Im on my first trip in our motorhome since she passed. Its very alone but i feel her here.
I have to say life is horrible, I hate this situation, I miss her every second and so for its not got any better.
I dont feel sorry for myself, but I miss her and as you say the chat, warmth, trust, the being there, the cuddles. I can no longer sit in the lounge or watch TV.
As you say I, look at holidays, can afford any, but why, without my beautiful wife why? Theres not much point in anything.
All I can think is that when we meet again (soon I hope) that I can know she is proud of me and i want everything I do to make her proud. So thats all I can do… that and wait for her to come for me.
So sorry wayne its 7 weeks for me since my husband passed he was 54 it was sudden life is so god dam lonely i don’t see any future
You are so positive and an inspiration, doing so many lovely things to remember your wife, she will be so proud. I’m really looking forward to seeing your bulbs flowering next Spring.
I am able to sit in my (our) lounge, I feel my husband with me, but cannot listen to music, only Radio 4, and watch old rubbish on the tv.
Hope your taking care, I never ever thought I could feel this low and lonely, I meet my Julie when I was 26 and after 32 years together to lose her I’m totally broken, I just can’t come to terms with the fact she’s gone and I can’t hold her and be with her.
Thank you, its very hard for all of us, I think chatting on here to people in the same situation helps. I cant watch TV at all yet or relax really.
I know exactly how you feel, its like a complete nightmare. I cannot understand any of it. I wish I could change it for me and for all of it. I have lost almost 2 stone in weight, I am now only 8 stone 6, my BMI is almost in the red, I just dont want to eat, I have a light meal every 3 days or so. Its the worst thing ever.
I can only say that the photos, clothes and having her ashes with me help me slightly. We bith beleive in God and that we will meet up again… I hope that could be a small benefit to you.
I can watch new things but none of the series we started together . I have sent all the big bushes in my garden to new homes . I wasn’t using a cutter he would agree . I have a vast area of new grass . I am doing everything to keep my life safe ,he would want that too . I can’t think about the horror of this situation too much . I can look at his pictures and see him in my mind but his clothes make me very sad because he can’t wear them . On this site they say there are those that keep busy and those that cry . I am the first and my son is the 2nd . It’s hard to hold up to his grief . Just a nightmare that is not getting any better . I am going to see a good medium next month I hope she has a message from him
I am so sorry for you Cadge the shock of losing our partners is immense . People tend to avoid us after a short while as if we are suddenly fixed . It’s so hard to deal with for months. I was so supported , cared for and loved and it’s all been taken away in a moment . I always prayed that we would grow old together not to die at 58 . He was a gym man and had beautiful muscles . I can’t think about the future . My love to you
Sorry for your loss jol yes same my husband was 54 he was a builder he was fine no signs then one morning i woke to him having a cardiac arrest in bed it was traumatic i feel so robbed im 48 years didnt expect to lose him so soon heartbroken life will never be the same x
The bike race around britain ? My brother is a fanatical cyclist and he was in birmingham the other day … i wonder if thats what he was doing ? Xxx
Sounds like you are making things happen, thats much better than dping nothing isnt it, but thats not easy at all. I try to be the one that keeps busy too, I find it so hard to get motivated unless its about making my beautiful wife proud. Ive come down to south Wales in our motorhome to meet with her sister as we always do this time of year ive stopped off for the night on the way, its very silent and lonely despite having her photos and various things. So sad this life, so very sad.
Hi john1066, it’s good that you can find some motivation to keep doing things that you enjoy and make your wife proud of you, wish I could be more like you. Stay strong