Have never joined anything like this before but I read some of the posts and felt drawn to so many people who are obviously feeling exactly the same way, I thought I was on my own in how dreadful I feel. My partner of many years died aged 56 suddenly and brutally 2 months ago from an undiagnosed heart condition. No time to say goodbye for me or our 2 beautiful kids, the shock and disbelief still seem to be the same now 2 months on. The feeling of sickness and nausea that overcomes me every morning when I wake up from maybe just a few hours broken sleep and realise it’s true is unbearable. Reminders of him seem to be everywhere I turn and strike me down all the time. I just can’t seem to get over what he has lost, it seems so unfair and wrong - and what the kids have lost in having the dad they adored ripped away. All that plus my own loss of him, the pressure of trying to work and be the sole earner, keeping everything in the house going etc. Sorry for rambling, no idea if any of this makes any sense but I’m hoping it might.
It’s the shock of it all, your not rambling be kind to yourself, listen to your body and you need time out take it. Xx
Hi, you’re not rambling at all. I also lost my 57 year old darling husband suddenly and unexpectedly so I totally understand what you’re going through. I have two grownup children too and they are now my reason to get up in the morning. I feel completely lost and as if I am not the person I was. It does help talking to others here who are sadly suffering the same devastating loss of their partners.
Sending you strength.
You are not alone. I feel the very same.
My hubby was 49. He left me and our kids. It is hard to get your head around all the aspects, especially for the kids too. Mine are 17 and 13.
I don’t know how to look after them, as I’m struggling so much myself, but we do it because we are their mums.
Having to sort everything, including the money aspect is mind boggling. I haven’t rushed with anything and I take every day as it comes. I don’t know what else to do. I constantly talk to him and about him, to everyone, especially the kids.
We will never forget our memories and the love we have for them. It is so hard.
We are all here to support one another.
Sending you lots of love
Again, the same for me. Sudden loss of my seemingly very fit 60 year old husband from a coronary embolus. No history of heart disease in the family, no high cholesterol when it was checked two years before he died yet the post mortem showed he had atheroma - furring of the arteries around his heart. We had no idea.
As I put on another post, knowing that means I know his life would never have been the same again and he would have HATED that. To not be the person he saw himself as would have destroyed him. I’m so glad I asked for the PM. It wasn’t certain he needed it as one of the friends he was playing football with was a Dr so he was under medical care the whole time from beginning to feel I’ll.
For my husband it wasn’t a bad end. He played football which he loved, began to feel unwell, sat at the side for a while then passed out in the car on the way to hospital. 1hr 40 minutes after feeling unwell. Ache in the centre of his chest and feeling dizzy but nothing which I believe would have made him think he was going lo leave us.
It IS a comfort to know all that as, even though the shock for us was HUGE, we know he didn’t suffer much at all. Lived a happy, active life then nothing.
So sorry for your loss, sending you lots of hugs.
My partner was 56 when he died of COVID, I’m still shocked now that he’s gone, he was full of life and a caring, thoughtful person, one in a million he was.
It’s such early days for you, you will feel so many different difficult emotions for some time yet, but you do eventually find your own way to cope, it’s not easy, I was back and forwards trying to figure out what the hell do I do now, it takes time, it’s only up until now I’m having more ok days, it’s been really tough, but I’m finding ways to cope.
I hope you have family and friends to support you.
Hi @Amylost, @Faylou, @KarenF, I realise we have many similarities. I feel exactly the same about my husband (57 yrs of age) not having wanted to live a life of not being himself anymore. A strong, active person like him who never kept still, always up and about doing things.
Still can’t accept the fact that he was here one minute, gone the next.
Today I’ve been in so much pain and crying, I can’t believe I’ll never see Martin again. I’ve been to work done food shop, now back at home alone.
Some days are so hard to cope.
Sending hugs to everyone
Sending hugs to you too, Amy xxx
Sending hugs to you Amy x
I fully understand your days of not being able to cope. I feel like I’m crumbling to bits at times.
Hopefully we can all help each other on this site to carry on with our lives that have completely changed from one day to another.
Sending you comfort and a hug to you too.
My husband was 67 and collapsed whilst playing football. He was apparently fit and healthy. The pm showed he had severe atheroma. The footballers performed cpr before the ambulance arrived. He was on statins for cholesterol but other than that - nothing. Like you say a massive shock but the only consolation we can take is that he died doing what he loved and didn’t know much about it. I’m now 62, I was 61 when it happened in September 2021. It helps to see other posts on this site as makes you realise you’re not alone. Sandra xx
Wow Sandra, @Murphy1 how similar our stories really are. I am 61 now having lost my husband in April when I was 60. Where does this atheroma hide in these slim, fit men? You would never have thought my husband had any kind of heart problem yet that was on his pm report.
I was the ‘one’ who had several years of ill health that came out of nowhere. Developed a thyroid condition that led to thyroid eye disease then had 5 years on a health treadmill of poor vision, steroids, eye operations at Moorfields etc. My husband with me all the way for appointments etc. he was my rock. Alan only enjoyed just over a years retirement. He played football every week (which he loved) and walked our border collie miles every day. He was slim and apparently fit. Ate a healthy diet. Seems very unfair but what can you say … miss him
every day … was one in a million … married 37 years together just short of 40. One foot in front of the other is all you can do xx
@Murphy1 yes, one foot I front of the other is exactly it.
I had almost 29 years married to my soulmate. Friends since childhood and first boyfriend when we were 17. Years later we were back together and married. Not nearly enough time together but then there never would have been.
I so agree, 70 + years wouldn’t have been enough. I think myself lucky that we had 54 years of marriage but how I wished for more.