No longer living just counting off each lonely endless hour

I am grateful for everyone who replied to my message. Twelve months ago today David went into hospital and then onto the hospice where he died. This was never our home. David only got to spend five nights here. Tomorrow would have been our 41st wedding anniversary. I swing from feeling that I am over David and then I sob for hours at a time. There is not one single day that I have not sobbed. It is nothing less than torture. I woke this morning and expected to see him next to me in bed. A big part of me knows he has gone but I canā€™t accept it. I have photos of him all over my bungalow but I really want to remember my David. My mind has done the sensible thing but my heart hasnā€™t. David and I were so insular. Now I am on my own I count the hours off in a day and sometimes the clock doesnā€™t move. I am more than happy to form a friendship with anyone who is alone because they have had their loved one so cruelly ripped apart from them. No one has a clue what we suffer. But we understand. My mobile number is [edited by admin]. If anyone wants to call you are quite welcome. Love to everyone. Love to my precious irreplaceable beautiful husband. I love you David

Hi everyone - this thread seems to have got a bit out of hand. I am temporarily locking it while I get in touch with some of your privately. It will be unlocked again shortly.

Thanks for your patience, everyone, this thread is now unlocked again. Can I please remind everyone that the main point of this site is to support each other, and ask you all to focus back on the original topic of the thread.

If you see any posts on the site that you feel break our community guidelines, please let a moderator know privately by clicking the ā€˜reportā€™ button under the post. Please donā€™t respond, as this can often make the situation worse.

Any further posts following on from the previous disagreements are likely to be removed, or may lead to the thread being locked for longer, so please letā€™s avoid this.

Letā€™s get back to the great support that you all usually give each other.

I wish Iā€™d never put my message on now, I never dreamt it would cause a problem. I canā€™t imagine how you could think that you could read so much (you mention molehill and mountains) from one small innocent sentence about life being precious. I felt that seeing the programme was sort of meant to be, it made ME realise just how precious MY life is. I cannot nor never would speak for others. I would just like to help if I can, just as Jonathan has inspired and helped me when at my lowest many times.
Best wishes Pat xxx

Hi all just for Ades friends and support networks a quick message to let everyone know I am visiting Ade in hospital at the moment Ades not doing very good since the uncomprehidable loss of Edward but has voluntarily been in hospital a few days we shall keep you updated Ade sends love to all a big thankyou X

No Pat. It was me and I take the blame. No excuses. ā€˜Mia Culperā€™! In my thread ā€˜APOLOGIESā€™ I did explain that although we all have difficult days that one was not good for me. Life is a journey, and no matter how old we are we can still learn. In no way was it anything to do with what you said. Love and light.

Itā€™s good to hear about Adele, but sad that sheā€™s in hospital. She obviously has good friends who have taken the trouble to let us know. Please convey my very best wishes and hope for a speedy recovery. She was struggling and perhaps a rest in hospital may help. Best wishes.

Hello Ade and Adeā€™s friend,

Thank you for letting us know weā€™ve all been worried about her. Best wishes Ade . I hope you are getting the help you needā€¦Take care Jx

Afternoon Ade and Adeā€™s friend, thank you, was only thinking about Adele this morning, give her my love and we all look forward to her being back to full health soon ,

Blessings
Jenā˜†

Thank you so much for letting us know that Adele is getting the help she so needs, she is so young to be going through this trauma, send her lots of huge
Jan x

Sorry to hear that Adele is in hospital, please send my wishes for her recoveryā€¦and hope to see her postings again very soonā€¦Ade, this is your time " to look after number oneā€¦" youā€¦

Jackieā€¦

To Ades friend ,
Thank you for letting us know about Ade. Any of us that read her many posts could see she was in a very troubled way and in need of more help than this forum was able to give yet she was still wanting to reach out and support others.
I think she is an extremely kind, loving person and send her warmest wishes and hope she is soon able to find herself more able to cope with losing her dear Edward

Xx

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Just picked up on the message about Adele. I am so sorry but perhaps having support and help and not being alone will help her.
My thoughts and prayers are with you Adele. We love love you and look forward to hearing from you again.
God bless and get well soon.
Pat x xxx

Thanks for letting us know about Adele. Iā€™m sorry to hear sheā€™s in hospital and not doing good. Sheā€™s always replied with her kind messages. Sending my best wishes.
Christine x

Hi Sorry for your loss I am now over 5 years since i lost my amazing partner Sylvia I honestly believe youā€™ve taken a big step coming on to the forum where I am sure youā€™ll find the support you need from people who have went through the same. I just wish I had done it earlier itā€™s taken me until today to join almost 5 and a half years of just existing day by day to join the community. I wish you well and hope you find the help and support you need

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I find reading some of the conversations on this site has helped me as like all of us on this forum knows such sadness and it really helps to know you are not on your own. Also the main help I personally I have received from this site is not matter how long we have lost our love ones the loss is still for had to bear. It has been 7mths since the loss of my Dave and it sill feels like yesterday. We were married 52yrs although I think anyone who has lost there soulmate still feels the same.
Friends and family think as time goes by makes it easier but I think the loss get worse as everything is back to normal but my life. Thinking of you all lots of hugs Queenie